Donald Trump

In Brief: Pocahontas Rises from Dead to Sue Trump for Liz Warren Comparison

In a stunning development today, Native American legend Pocahontas rose from the dead in zombie form to file a lawsuit against President Donald Trump for defamation of character. “He has consistently compared Sen. Elizabeth Warren to me and I find that very hurtful and cruel. ‘Warren Face’ or ‘Ages With Warren’ is now a common taunt I must face among the dimmer circles. Mean little boys don cheap granny glasses and poke their fingers in the air to taunt the skinny girls, saying things like ‘I’m Warren Face Sacajawea’ or something.  I’m not even blonde, none of us are! No one likes to be compared to that yammering spinster and fraud.” […]

Books

Trump vs. Anne Frank Rap Battle: Washington Post Hoax “Exposes” Trump’s Top Secret Time Travel

The Washington Post bravely risks it all to reveal that by 2016, Donald Trump used his access to Gen. Michael Flynn to quietly direct DARPA, then in secret works with CERN in Switzerland, to commission the first  time machine ever constructed.  Billions had been spent on Project Icarus Rex by DARPA alone. A handful of Swiss and American scientists had initially planned to intervene in a past timeline to prevent World War Three, prevent the African famines, etc. As for President Trump, his first stop was World War Two, but he wasn’t there to stop Hitler. Trump was there to “talk shit about Anne Frank and challenge her to an epic rap battle.” […]

Censorship

Mika, You Are Hereby Banned From Blowing Me

Mika Brzezinski, it’s no use crying, you are hereby banned from blowing me. Don’t even ask, don’t even bother scouring the net for deals on knee pads. Truth welcomes debate, it doesn’t fear it. If your talking points are based on something you know to be false, of course you will look for reasons to avoid guests who call you on it. Bill Maher is right about this refusal to actually engage in debate signals surrender, and he surrenders often on everything that really matters so he’d know, and it is why Democrats keep losing. […]

Donald Trump

A Psychological Analysis of a Psychologist Who Analyzed Trump

In this article, we will conclusively demonstrate that any group of psychiatrists or psychologists that can diagnose a famous figure without a personal consultation and assessment is not just unethical, but risking their careers. The hammer is about to fall as the public comes to understand how perception is managed by our intelligence agencies, networks and social media on which they base their conclusions. […]

Censorship

Shakespeare: “Snowflakes Hateth Me!”

Verily, it dost seem special snowflakes hath been triggered by mine awesome legacy and shadow. Even I tremble, and I am he. Behold this article at the National Review:

“U Penn Removes Shakespeare Portrait Because He Does Not Represent ‘Diversity’” And I, The Bard was replaced with a portrait of a black lesbian poet few doth know about, and verily I wandered far and wide to find someone who heard of her. Who is this woman? Thou mayest often find the answer at the local eatery near U Penn. Whenst the middle-aged cashier asketh unto thee “Do you want fries with that?” inquire of the timeless mystery that is Audre Lourde. […]

Gratuitous Impiety

Hilldo Strap On Ready to Tear US Voters a New Asshole

Not Just the Lady Friends Anymore!

Ready to strap on her new Hilldo™ and tear a new asshole into American dreams of a credible challenge to establishment corruption; Hillary arrives in town to answer, doggy style, any impudent calls for a meritocracy. With palpable excitement, she cheers the arrival of her latest strap on model, The Hilldo™ , after weeks of delay. Other upcoming variations include the larger Amy Poler and the Humadork 69. (Incidentally, dork is an informal reference for a whale penis.) Above, Hillary tests the self-lubricating Hilldo™  Bushlover 666, which features vibrating forklift action and jackhammer engineering. […]

Cloak and Dagger

Washington to Host Moderate Terrorists, Moderate Child Molesters Summit

What's the difference between a rebel and a 'moderate' rebel? a rebel is what you saw in the US Civil War, an actual soldier, but a 'moderate' rebel is a terrorist that beheads Christians and Muslims alike and not too long ago, was the enemy in Afghanistan and Iraq .

This will be a key subject of discussion as  ISIS, The American Coalition of Rapists, the American Society for the Appreciation of Chainsaw Massacres, The American Child Molesters League, and FOX and Friends are scheduled to meet soon to celebrate their mainstream media acceptance via neo-con political spin. According to the event organizer, "we remain true to ourselves, and after celebrating the blatantly dismissive attitudes of our very nature by Washington officials, we intend to rape, behead, and dismember every apologist reporter on the scene." […]