Shark vaginas have the most pubic hair of any sea creature. Source: CNN Lampreys have developed a symbiotic relationship, and groom their hosts with pube braids. Source: NBC I'M WITH HER: Joy Behar plays follow the leader. A botched circumcision left George Soros with a ball sack for eyes. Embittered ever after, this created the greatest super villain ever known, Globalist Man. Source: CNN Scroll Down

Joe the Plumber Predicted by The Onion in '93? March 24, 2013 May 29, 1993: The Onion's story about Roy the Forklift driver becoming a media darling of the conservative movement becomes, apparently, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or has talk radio dumbed us down so much what once... KEEP READING An Interview with Trey, or Robert Hamburger March 29, 2013 With the release of Ghosts/Aliens, the long awaited second work from the creator of Real Ultimate Power, many fans wondered if he could do the seemingly impossible: produce an even funnier book.These fans should be... KEEP READING 911 Reasons Rudy is an Asshole February 26, 2013 "Hang on... my wife is calling..." Six seconds into the video, the moment he announces the call is from his wife, the cell phone is still in his pocket. Yet he makes the psychic announcement... KEEP READING What Exactly is a Mullet? March 5, 2013 Is it a ray-finned fish found in coastal temperate, fresh and tropical waters? or is the truth more sinister: that it is a hairstyle for an unfortunate few trapped in the 1980s, when the mullet... KEEP READING Hillary is Political Herpes, a Gift That Keeps on Giving July 15, 2017 Political herpes Hillary Clinton is a gift that keeps on giving, and she's flaring up again in time to lose again in 2020. KEEP READING John Stossel Bitch Slapped - Literally March 12, 2013 In a pinnacle of investigative journalism rivaling Woodward and Bernstein's work in Watergate, John Stossel makes the startling allegation that wrestling is fake. In rebuttal, he is bitch slapped like the steaming pile of dog... KEEP READING Boycott These CNN Advertisers. With Extreme Prejudice. March 31, 2018 The Children's Crusade didn't end well. And it won't end well this time, either. The script is simple. The network is promulgating a demagogue and crisis actor as we can see in this video shot... KEEP READING Political Doublespeak Translator Pro March 2, 2013 Never be Fooled Again! Impious Political analysts use only the best software when it comes to researching politicians, and we'd like to take this opportunity to thank the programming team that made the PDT (Political... KEEP READING New Book from Rush Limbaugh's Mom August 18, 2014 Rush Limbaugh's mom discusses her new book, "Rush Limbaugh: the Case for Post-Natal Abortion." Regarding her son's legacy, she had this to say: "He is my ultimate shame. I should have swallowed. I should have bought the dog a condom. When I... KEEP READING Green Bay Packers Invite Fans to Interlock Arms During Anthem, Honor Rockettes Instead September 29, 2017 Breaking: The Green Bay Packers invited fans to join them in interlocking their arms during the national anthem as a show of solidarity with the football team, and Broadway. Already gearing up for a potential... KEEP READING Lindsey England's Ass Face Cookies March 3, 2013 This week, Nabisco announced controversial plans to use Lindsey England's face as a cookie mold for Butt Munch "ass cookies." The cookies, graham crackers shaped like human buttocks, were on the drawing table for years... KEEP READING I'm a Fire Truck Trapped in a Man's Body November 27, 2016 In the meantime, because fire trucks have unique anatomical features, it is only fair to have have public restaurants, schools, government buildings , etc., modify their bathrooms into fire stations to accommodate my special needs,... KEEP READING In Brief: Pocahontas Rises from Dead to Sue Trump for Liz Warren Comparison June 25, 2017 In a stunning development today, Native American legend Pocahontas rose from the dead in zombie form to file a lawsuit against President Donald Trump for defamation of character. "He has consistently compared Sen. Elizabeth Warren... KEEP READING The Society for the Appreciation of Bitch Slappin' the Mimes March 29, 2014 The Impious Digest hires only the best and strongest pimps to administer the bitch slappin' we give to mimes across the nation. But it's not cheap. Ice packs (for bruised knuckles), travel expenses, bail money... KEEP READING Doctors: Morbidly Obese Michael Moore May Not Make It Next Four Years February 10, 2017 "At over 300 lbs. the mortality rate in his age group is very high. Such individuals are at a high risk of heart disease and cardiac arrest. With a body mass index well over 45,... KEEP READING Cheney's Torture Fetish October 25, 2013 Bybee's memo (not to mention a few others) is damning evidence suggesting a common plan on the part of the Administration to violate the laws of war. Strikingly, such a "common plan," or conspiracy, is... KEEP READING Before Ann Coulter Conquered Twitter, She Conquered Facebook May 13, 2014 Before Ann Coulter Conquered Twitter, She Conquered Facebook KEEP READING Hillary, Obama Music Vids March 16, 2013 If you judge these two candidates by the supporters they gather, only one avoided embarrassment. KEEP READING Don't Hate Them, Pity Them. February 14, 2013 Behold, it’s not easy being a neo-Nazi. This German public service announcement illustrates the unseen obstacles and handicaps facing these human urinal cakes as they try to go about their daily lives. KEEP READING Rachel Maddow Wows with New Haircut November 7, 2017 Sexy! KEEP READING