Shark vaginas have the most pubic hair of any sea creature. Source: CNN Lampreys have developed a symbiotic relationship, and groom their hosts with pube braids. Source: NBC I'M WITH HER: Joy Behar plays follow the leader. A botched circumcision left George Soros with a ball sack for eyes. Embittered ever after, this created the greatest super villain ever known, Globalist Man. Source: CNN Scroll Down Ignorant, Senile Bastard Decries "Hostile" Media Portrayal May 25, 2017 Warhawk, songbird and Lindsey Graham life partner John McCain declared this morning that Russian President Vladimir Putin is a Russian sympathizer and possibly a spy, citing a trusted source he obtained from gay dating... KEEP READING The Ultimate Revenge March 14, 2013 His girlfriend bones his boss. And he gets the ultimate (non-violent) revenge. KEEP READING The Mar-a-Lago Incident: Behind the Scenes with Low I.Q. Crazy Mika, Psycho Joe and Trump July 9, 2017 Trump suddenly dropped his fork and winced as he glanced at a growing red stain on the tablecloth. "Low I.Q. Crazy Mika, hey, the table! Oh come on! REALLY, Mika? Really? Go home! Your face-lift... KEEP READING Scientists Remove Gene Mutation Responsible for CNN Reporters August 16, 2017 The Nobel Prize committee has just announced a new nominee in the science department. Geneticist Dr. Hung Lo of MIT has not only discovered a way to remove and repair defective genes responsible for... KEEP READING Tracy Morgan: "I am Joy Reid, y'all! That kind of stupid is comedy genius!" March 2, 2018 In Brief KEEP READING If FOX News Existed Throughout History March 15, 2013 To paraphrase Thomas Jefferson, the most honest part of a newspaper is its advertisements. He also said "I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely... KEEP READING Court Docs Reveal Bill O’Reilly Owned a Vibrator March 8, 2014 First a disclaimer: no one is knocking phone sex or the insertion of sex tools into the rectum by geriatrics, per se. It's imposing this behavior on an unwilling partner young enough to be... KEEP READING Boris Johnson Globalist Action Figure Hits Market April 14, 2018 A flop. As successful as his barber. KEEP READING Don't Hate Them, Pity Them. February 14, 2013 Behold, it’s not easy being a neo-Nazi. This German public service announcement illustrates the unseen obstacles and handicaps facing these human urinal cakes as they try to go about their daily lives. KEEP READING "Please clap." February 18, 2016 Please. (The Editor) KEEP READING On S January 15, 2014 Sam was a small and sad sociopath and stalker with a substandard sexual segment. Sam sought-after a student, and shop owner, some slandered as a slut. She was Sheri Summerset, a somewhat socially shy,... KEEP READING Insultatron 7000: Robots Are Better Than Humans March 7, 2013 I was watching television the other day, and I realized robots are better than humans. The survival of your stupid ass species depends not on the advancement of one nation, but all nations, and... KEEP READING The Literary Bucket List: Ghosts/Aliens March 20, 2013 On "Ghosts/Aliens": "THE BEST BOOK OF ALL TIME! (EVEN BETTER THAN THE BIBLE!)." So writes one soldier from Baghdad, Iraq in his customer review. Although I wouldn't go so far, it got me thinking.... KEEP READING Left and Right Featured in Idiot Dioramas March 4, 2013 Diorama exhibits at the Los Angeles Museum of Natural History and Anthropological Studies will include a new sociology exhibit of obsolete or regressive political movements. One exhibit titled "Predicate Thinking in Political Parties: Neurosis... KEEP READING The Wisdom of the Dead March 6, 2013 Have you ever found solace in morbidity? Have you ever found comfort in that which others find objectionable? I remember a time in my life; a time in which the driving force of my... KEEP READING Bill O'Reilly's "Live Feed" from Moon Landing Questioned March 7, 2015 In O’Reilly’s latest salvo, this photo was released to prove once and for all that he would never lie about hitching a ride on the Apollo capsule to do a live feed from the moon. "I was... KEEP READING Trump Offers Photographic Proof of Election Meddling, Putin Silent July 9, 2017 A stern President Trump met with President Vladimir at the G20 with irrefutable proof of Russian election meddling. "You put Debbie Wasserman-Schultz up to rigging the primary. Can you deny this is you celebrating... KEEP READING Lindsey England's Ass Face Cookies March 3, 2013 This week, Nabisco announced controversial plans to use Lindsey England's face as a cookie mold for Butt Munch "ass cookies." The cookies, graham crackers shaped like human buttocks, were on the drawing table for... KEEP READING Local Man Can't Wait to Share Wisdom Gleaned from Cable News Panel July 16, 2017 Local man Haywood Tapper, 34, excitedly told reporters today that he just can't wait to tell his friends and family about what he learned from listening to pundits overnight. "I am just so glad... KEEP READING Maureen Dowd and Flag Pins Will Decide the Election March 21, 2013 Oh Maureen, Maureen! I thought I knew you! Gone now, are your glory days when you were the answer to my most pressing exigencies; when on a wall by my bed, affixed to a... KEEP READING
