Losers

Verily, it dost seem special snowflakes hath been triggered by mine awesome legacy and shadow. Even I tremble, and I am he. Behold this article at the National Review:

“U Penn Removes Shakespeare Portrait Because He Does Not Represent ‘Diversity’” And I, The Bard was replaced with a portrait of a black lesbian poet few doth know about, and verily I wandered far and wide to find someone who heard of her. Who is this woman? Thou mayest often find the answer at the local eatery near U Penn. Whenst the middle-aged cashier asketh unto thee “Do you want fries with that?” inquire of the timeless mystery that is Audre Lourde. […]

In the meantime, because fire trucks have unique anatomical features, it is only fair to have have public restaurants, schools, government buildings , etc., modify their bathrooms into fire stations to accommodate my special needs, such  as my ladder. […]

ISIS  “Micro-aggression” Catches Radditz by Surprise. At the Trump and Clinton debate on October 19th, 2016, ABC’s Martha Radditz proposed a new Allepo strategy. She actually began to debate Trump on Hillary’s behalf to show off her prowess in war games and military history or as some wag noted “to run for president herself.” She argued it’s sometimes a good idea to telegraph intended targets weeks ahead against basic military doctrine (never strike without the element of surprise). The Pentagon was so impressed with this unconventional brilliance they made her a general and put her in charge of fighting ISIS. […]