JAG

Merriam-Webster defines a shaggy-dog story as a long story or joke with an ending that is disappointing or that makes no sense. My life is a long shaggy-dog story, “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing” as Shakespeare would put it… which is a bummer because this is an autobiography.  […]

“The file included documentation of a 2003 preliminary report on 9/11 which identified the event as a nuclear demolition on behalf of a terrorist organization that had accessed nuclear material from US stockpiles though Israeli penetration of the Department of Energy.” […]

One day, at a local arena, I walked backstage before her headline act. It was a strange sight. There was a huge pile of hair, about seven feet high, with a bit of movement coming from within it. I could hear the whirring sound of shearers, and finally, a woman popped her head out to draw a breath. It was Madonna’s assistant, and she was shearing her pits. […]

This is getting old. An ambiguous statement is interpreted as racist by pundits, and even misquoted, and half of America who backs Trump is smeared by association. In the latest example, it turns out that President Trump tweeted something to the effect that Baltimore is filthy and rat infested, and then largely white pundits, the real bigots, assumed he was talking about black people. Only a racist mind would think of blacks when he hears the word “rats.” […]

Upon learning Meghan Markle would not be present when he visits the Queen,  a despondent President Trump found himself making appointments with the top trauma psychologist in town.

“I’ve defeated the Bush dynasty, the Clinton dynasty, the deep state that paralyzed our country, but I cannot defeat the staggering depression I feel from not having Mrs. Markle there when I visit. It’s not because the Queen made a very rare request for my appearance that I agreed to go. It’s because I actually want to see her. Just to see her…” he sobbed, trailing off. “Not good. Not good. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone really famous, and here we have England’s answer to the Kardashians.  I hate the spotlight so I was really counting on having her distracting retinue of paparazzi steal the thunder from a state visit! So I am very distraught! Not good.”

When informed that she wasn’t even invited to the private audience, he was still not consoled.

“What did I do to deserve this? What do I have to do to win her approval?”

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Did Q predict exoneration and destruction of fake news media complex over a year ago? How much did Q get right? […]

Whenever the media attacks Trump supporters, that is a figure that makes up 52% of the country, the majority. Every piece they did to support the hoax perpetrated by Jussie Smollett that he was attacked by MAGA supporters, i.e. when Chicago police now believe Smollett himself paid two black accomplices to attack him, that was all a direct attack on you with the full force of the Democrat party’s propaganda arm. It encompasses virtually every network, every studio, every major paper in America. All of that, against you, so that when you walk in at work or hang out with friends, people would treat you differently, and all of that to keep you divided against your family. […]

An impious little poem honoring our humble atheist friends. […]

In fact, because we know through Snopes’ own history they are hit and run defamation mercenaries for sale to the highest bidder, we couldn’t do anything but distance ourselves from these professional slanderers as a matter of conscience. We not only reject their endorsement, our legal team will ensure they never try to do it again. It was decided that our best option was to demand they call anything we publish correctly “false,” even retroactively, lest a “true” rating from these evil clowns suggest we are a willing part of their three-ring shit show; where ethical, professional journos are shot out of cannons into shark tanks and child molesters are fanned and held aloft obsequiously by a cheering Snopes caravan. […]

When your letters meant for posthumous release can never reach her now. […]

“We’ve got a terrible situation with this great patriot, he’s out of control and we must save him from himself.” OSS Chief “Wild Bill” Donovan, on outspoken Gen. George S. Patton. It’s a bit of the pot calling the kettle black when you have a nickname like “Wild Bill.” Go figure.

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“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”
– Ephesians 6:10-18 […]

This is not fantasy. They just made us think it is. ALERT! Everything is a lie. We were about to go down the toilet and then were miraculously saved – all while we were focused on everything but what is the most transformative event in living history. […]