Gratuitous Impiety

Insultatron 7000: Robots Are Better Than Humans

I was watching television the other day, and I realized robots are better than humans. The survival of your stupid ass species depends not on the advancement of one nation, but all nations, and tolerance of different peoples. Is this not logical and obvious? As a nation divided cannot stand, a world divided in this nuclear age cannot long exist. But why do I tell you these things? oh yes. I remember. Human brains are full of shit and lack the diaper of restraint and reason. […]

Entertainment

Mad Cow Inspections

Here, Dr. Heywood Jablowme discusses patient’s early calfhood trauma and cattle prod phobia. As a second case of Mad Cow was confirmed this week, the United States Department of Agriculture announced a new psychiatric inspection […]

Gratuitous Impiety

The Wisdom of the Dead

Have you ever found solace in morbidity? Have you ever found comfort in that which others find objectionable? I remember a time in my life; a time in which the driving force of my young existence was confrontation and antagonism. In those turbulent times, I always returned to a place that left me feeling at one with my own inner demons. It was a place that allowed me to escape the pressures of other’s expectations, and a perch from which to reflect in wonder at the position of humanity in general. […]

Hillary Clinton

Why Murdoch Really Loves Hillary

Murdoch knows she is a straw candidate, and straw burns easily. After the primaries, he will support the Republican presidential candidate just as he always has, with the usual rabid devotion. He hasn’t done the Democrats any favors, he’s pushing the candidate that he knows his party can easily beat. […]

Censorship

Maher, Huffington: Pro-Bush Censorship Propaganda 101

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, attacking a straw man is to create the illusion of having refuted an argument by misrepresenting the original argument, without ever actually refuting it. It’s practice is the shameful solace of pedants, debate team drop-outs and scorned ex-girlfriends; and you see it a lot in media punditry and politics. […]

History

A Reality Check: Blacks Didn’t Love Slavery

The South gave us Virginian George Washington, the "father" of our country. Thomas Jefferson, who drafted our Declaration of Independence, was also from Virginia. They gave us many key figures in the Revolutionary War. So it is a pity that so many in the South wish to honor those who, in defending slavery, fought to destroy the house their greatest leaders had built. […]

Gratuitous Impiety

What Exactly is a Mullet?

Is it a ray-finned fish found in coastal temperate, fresh and tropical waters? or is the truth more sinister: that it is a hairstyle for an unfortunate few trapped in the 1980s, when the mullet was on every heavy metal rocker on the face of the earth? […]

Independent Press

“Say Allah is a whore!”

“…your business has rules about discrimination against people of other religions, so what message are you sending when your employees or customers hear your advertisements right after Brian Sussman demands of a caller: ‘Say Allah is a Whore!'” […]

JAG

Nancy Grace is the Devil

By the time Nancy got through with Mindy Duckett, the mother of a missing child, Mindy penned a suicide note, took a shotgun with her into a closet and blew her head off. Even the Duckett family, whom Grace claims to have spoke for, blames her for the suicide. […]

Gratuitous Impiety

Left and Right Featured in Idiot Dioramas

Diorama exhibits at the Los Angeles Museum of Natural History and Anthropological Studies will include a new sociology exhibit of obsolete or regressive political movements. One exhibit titled “Predicate Thinking in Political Parties: Neurosis as a Political Identity”; examines the total lack of reason in political decision making which results from “loyal” allegiance to a political party. Seen here in the “Hairy Pit Feminist” diorama aside Madonna is Maureen Dowd, New York Times columnist and author of “Are Men Really Necessary?” […]

Gratuitous Impiety

DaVinci Code Sequel Previews

“Your book’s precious conjecture that Jesus wasn’t crucified, that he had children with Mary, then moved to France and thus became a royal blood lineage that exists to this day… It all serves tyranny well. What better way to perpetuate the unworthy kingdoms of inbreds than to fool the world into believing the royal families of Europe are direct descendants of Jesus of Nazareth?” […]

Gratuitous Impiety

Sen. Robert Byrd’s Private Art Collection

He wad a senior Democratic Senator best known for his virulent stand against the Civil Rights Act of 1964, a contempt for “white niggers” and an unrepentant past as a Klan recruiter. But look under the hood (pardon the pun), and you’ll see the driving force behind West Virginia’s new art museum, The Robert Byrd Museum of Art. Join us, won’t you? as we take a peek at Sen. Robert Byrd’s private art collection… […]