Jury Finds Conspiracy in MLK Assassination

By |March 1st, 2013

Even though the slug that killed King was broken into three pieces, there were enough marks on it to allow a comparison, and that comparison showed the 12 of 18 bullets did not match. Even after a Tennessee jury found the King assassination was the result of a conspiracy and not the act of a lone killer, the Clinton Administration refused to allow James Earl Ray his first trial, a Constitutional right Ray was denied since 1968. When questioning Ray, Dexter King made it clear that he and the King family itself believed James Earl Ray was innocent, and they wanted a trial as he had only a few months to live.

Local Man Finds Enough Courage to Talk Shit About Trump

By |January 15th, 2017

Dick Smegma, 26, took a courageous stand today by siding with the majority opinion in a deep blue state where everybody hates Trump."I'm no hero," Smegma said humbly to a crowd of cheering Hillary supporters as they burned Trump in effigy. "But sometimes you have to be brave enough to dispense with the courage of your convictions, and side with whatever is popular with the crowd."At press time, Mr. Smega was last seen in a Trump rally talking all manner of shit about Clinton.

Council of Uninformed Neurotic Television Stars (CUNTS) Finally Changes Name

By |January 15th, 2017

But it's still unwatchable.

CNN’s Best

By |January 15th, 2017

Oh that Jim Acosta, bless his heart, he thinks he's people! Look how he barks at the President-Elect.

Wikileaks: Mexican Drug Kingpin, El Chapo, Donated 15M to Clinton Foundation

By |January 13th, 2017

The Times: Julian Assange launched an attack on the integrity of the Clinton Foundation with the latest intelligence report that says the organization had ties with Mexican drug cartel leader, Joaquín ‘El Chapo’ Guzmán.Guzman, widely known as ‘El Chapo’, has an estimated net worth of $2 billion USD. He is currently incarcerated in a high-security Mexican prison and is in the process of being extradited to the United States.

MI6 REPORT: ISIS and McCain Exchanged “Dirty Sanchez” for Fake Trump Dossier

By |January 11th, 2017

A former MI6 official, who wishes to remain anonymous, alleges that Sen. John McCain is the person responsible for giving the FBI the discredited "Golden Showers" Trump dossier, which was covered in The Guardian. This "leak" was met with a flurry of new accusations of secret stings wherein British spooks note he exchanged a "dirty Sanchez" with BuzzFeed editor and lover Ben Smith. The slang refers to a most unwholesome sex act where a partner having anal sex removes his penis from the anus and smears his lover's lip with feces and semen.

MTV’s “Dear White Guy” Taken to an Extreme in Chicago

By |January 10th, 2017

Chicago police said Wednesday night that four teens are being held and questioned in connection with a Facebook Live video showing a group of people beating and cutting a special needs teen who appeared bound and gagged as they shouted “F--- Donald Trump.”Chicago Police Supt. Eddie Johnson called the video a "brutal act" that was "broadcast for the entire world to see." As of January 9, 2017, all attackers are over 18, presently held without bail and charged with a hate crime.

BREAKING: Hillary Runs for President of Own Fan Club, Manages to Lose by Landslide

By |January 7th, 2017

"People hate me!"

Suicide Prevention Counselors Urge Don Lemon to Kill Himself

By |January 6th, 2017

"This is certainly not the way we were brought up, saying this to you, but we don't think we are evil in saying it. We strongly suggest, say, eating a nice, caramelized bucket of broken glass, washed down with a refreshing, chilled glass of Prestone anti-freeze. We recommend cliff diving in Acapulco, with a practice run from a hotel roof. Shaving with a chainsaw was also suggested by our focus group, provided it was done in the dark, on a trampoline. An ear piercing with a jackhammer was another favored suggestion, and my personal one, as well."

Spy Agencies Reveal State Entity Who Most Influenced Trump’s Win

By |January 3rd, 2017

"It was this moron," said Director of National Intelligence Haywood Jablowme as he pointed to a slide of Hillary Clinton at a press conference earlier today. "That is the key state entity most responsible for influencing the election to favor President Trump. Putin didn't tell her to run while under an FBI criminal investigation, or to call half of America irredeemables, deplorables, racists, sexists... The media narrative is that if only people didn't know she was so corrupt and inept, she would have won. It's as asinine as saying that if only people didn't know the water was poisoned, we would have taken a drink and died, acting as if this was the logical desired outcome. So the impartial watchdogs who warned us of a clear and present danger are to be condemned? Fuck you."

“Putin dropped me repeatedly at birth,” Hacked DNC Emails with “Axe”

By |January 2nd, 2017

Political herpes Hillary Clinton, a crippling national embarrassment that just won't go away, flared up again today as she finally came to terms with her intellectual deficits and leadership disasters by acknowledging they did exist and were a problem, but that Russian leader Vladimir Putin was responsible for her affliction.She chimed in again today to attack Russia with unsubstantiated hacker claims, adding that if she sounds a trifle less astute in the geopolitical arena than John Kerry, Russian FM Sergei Lagrov, or most mammals in general, it is because Putin used a time machine to travel back to 1869 and drop her repeatedly at birth."This nefarious Russian conspiracy was designed to undermine my presidential campaign, and Putin has been caught red-handed as we know for a fact he owns a DeLorean like the one in Back to the Future."