November 2020 – The Impious Digest

Trump Thrown Into Barbaric Socialist Lion’s Den On Way To Election Victory

November 4, 2020 Independent Press

An interesting new Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MoFA) report circulating in the Kremlin today noting the American election truism that “No Republican candidate for the presidency has ever won the election without winning Ohio…Literally never, from Abraham Lincoln to Donald Trump, has an elected Republican president not won Ohio…Every time a Republican has lost Ohio, he has lost the presidency”, says this feat was accomplished when the battleground State of Ohio swung in favor of President Donald Trump, providing him 18 crucial electoral votes—that was joined by socialist Democrat Party leader Joe Biden being “obliterated by Hispanics” in the State of Florida, which gave President Trump another 29 electoral votes—after which this election ground to a complete halt with Biden having 238 electoral votes and Trump having 213 of the 270 needed by either of them to be elected—and when halted saw Trump leading in the key States of Michigan, Georgia, Pennsylvania and North Carolina—and Biden having a 7,121 vote lead over Trump in Wisconsin with 89% of the vote counted. […]

Sharknado Leader Trump Claims First Election War Victim As 24 States Activate National Guard

November 3, 2020 Sorcha Faal

An informative new Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MoFA) report circulating in the Kremlin today notes that Election Day in America has arrived in the shadow of the grim letter just presented to President Donald Trump by the Vatican’s former ambassador to the United States—wherein Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò warns about the “global conspiracy against God”, sees him stating “As is now clear, the one who occupies the Chair of Peter (Pope Francis) has betrayed his role from the very beginning in order to defend and promote the globalist ideology, supporting the agenda of the deep church, who chose him from its ranks”, and in his plea says: “Mr. President, you are well aware that, in this crucial hour, the United States of America is considered the defending wall against which the war declared by the advocates of globalism has been unleashed…With this heavenly hope and the assurance of my prayer for you, for the First Lady, and for your collaborators, with all my heart I send you my blessing…God bless the United States of America!”. […]

Cookie Monster And Holy Hermit Election Prophets Arise As Fort White House Prepares For Siege

November 2, 2020 Sorcha Faal

A compelling new Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MoFA) report circulating in the Kremlin today noting the non-scalable fence being installed around President Donald Trump’s residence ahead of the 3 November election to create a Fort White House able to withstand the siege being predicted against it by unconventional conflict expert Dr. J. Michael Waller of the Center for Security Policy, who has just warned “We have to prepare for these mobs by the tens of thousands if not more right in downtown Washington, DC preparing to storm the White House”, says these preparations for election violence are coming at the same it it’s further being warned by fearful expert observers that “The weeks following the election could very well be the most dangerous weeks in this country since the Civil War” and them saying “We have never seen such a longstanding democracy in such a rich country break down before — never…But it could happen this year”. […]

Trump Fulfills Bible Parable—Leaves Entire American Flock To Rescue One Lost Sheep

November 1, 2020 Sorcha Faal

An amazing new Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MoFA) report circulating in the Kremlin today says two of the most remarkable 96-hour time periods ever to occur in American election history are as astounding as they are miraculous—both of which saw at their center point the final appeal letter written by President Donald Trump to the American people on 30 October he titled “Reelect Me And I Will Continue To Deliver Safety, Prosperity And Opportunity For All Americans”—a letter that followed by 96-hours the kidnapping of 27-year-old American citizen Philip Walton by terrorists from the farm he was working at in the West African nation of Niger—and with 96-hours remaining until the 3 November election, saw President Trump courageously risking his entire reelection by signing a daring military order to rescue this single American—a military order issued to the United States Navy Seals and Special Forces commandos who immediately executed a successful and dangerous long-range rescue operation to free this young American in Nigeria where the terrorists had brought him—whose only counterpart in history was “Operation Eagle Claw” ordered by President Jimmy Carter in April-1980 to rescue American hostages in Iran—that ended in failure, and which President Carter said was the main reason he lost the 1980 election to Ronald Reagan—and if the mission to free this single American citizen had likewise ended in failure, there is no doubt that the socialist Democrat Party and leftist media crucifixion of President Trump would have doomed his reelection—though with President Trump being a Christian like President Carter is, leaders like them aren’t guided in their actions by earthly things like elections, but by Biblical truths—the one just exampled by President Trump being The Parable of the Lost Sheep that says: “Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’”. […]