Michael Moore Visits Trump Tower, Demands Cheese Pizza

In May-2001, just 5 months prior to the 11 September 2001 attack upon America, the US Department of Defense conducted a major war game exercise called Unified Vision 2001—and whose success was typified in the comment made by Dave Ozolek, Assistant Director of the then-Joint Experimentation Directorate who said: “Nostradamus couldn’t have nailed the first battle of the next war any closer than we did”. Strongly disagreeing with this assessment, however, was US Marine General Paul Van Riper–who was the “Red Team” leader in this war game taking on American military forces—and who was angered that during one crucial engagement during Unified Vision 2001, he was “informed” by the “White Cell”, or “control”, overseeing the game that the United States had destroyed all 21 of the “Red Team’s” deeply buried ballistic missiles, even though the “Blue Team” commander never actually knew where they were located. […]

Over 600,000 peoples attending the Carnevale Di Viargeggio festival in Viareggio-Italy burst into ecstatic cheers upon seeing in their midst a nearly 50-foot statue called “God Emperor Trump”—and to the horror and fear of cowering European socialists, had in its right hand a sword with a ring of blue Twitter birdies on its hilt having the Latin phrase “Dazi Vostri”, which translates to “your taxes”—and had inscribed on its blade the Latin phrase “Cazzi Vostri”—an expression that is actually a play on words meaning “none of your fucking business.” […]

A new Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) circulating in the Kremlin today is expressing fears that the American shadow government “Deep State” is preparing to assassinate President Trump before he can stop a global war—and whose latest evidence for this being so includes this past week Vice President Mike Pence receiving at the White House a secret message passed into his hand by Morgan County Alabama Sheriff Ana Franklin who controls an area Trump will soon be campaigning in—and whose very presence in the White House violates all normal security protocols as Sheriff Franklin is a present target of an FBI criminal investigation.  […]