Citing an anonymous CIA source, twice failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton peed herself earlier today at a gathering laying out the true reasons for her loss. News later emerged that the Russians were somehow responsible for leaking the full contents of her bladder before she could finish her speech. This time Russian leader Vladimir “The Bladder Whisperer” Putin did take the blame and said her vesica, a double agent, was “always a faithful leaker.”
According to this report, for nearly the past two years, the United States has been rocked by its biggest political scandal in history due to the preposterous and made up lies that President Trump colluded with Russia to win his election against Hillary Clinton—that began when Clinton hired the former British MI6 operative Christopher Steele to create the totally discredited Russia-Trump Dossier—that in turn was used by the FBI to illegally obtain US Federal Court spying warrants against the Trump Campaign, as well as insert covert operatives into it—and in the hours right before Trump was inaugurated on 20 January 2017, saw the Obama Regime illegally passing it out to selected Democrat Party US Senators. […]
With new evidence supporting her assertions of bravery under sniper fire, we humbly retract the last story regarding Hillary’s Tuzla adventures. We remain forever shamed that we ever questioned Hillary’s heroism, and offer our most sincere apologies to the Clinton camp. […]
Hillary Clinton's press tampon Jeff "Crazy Eyes" Bezos, a billionaire Clinton Foundation donor, was in the middle of spinning the latest fiasco in the Clinton campaign when, thirsty, he drank from a nearby glass of water on a podium. It proved to be a most unfortunate mistake.
Bezos, the owner of The Washington Post, has been put in charge of starting a war with Russia to keep the elites rich in case the dollar implodes at the end of the year. […]