The Mar-a-Lago Incident: Behind the Scenes with Low I.Q. Crazy Mika, Psycho Joe and Trump

Morning Joe has just made a phenomenal music video called “I Can’t Stop Loving You, Mr. President, Please Stop Winning!”, a poignant ballad  for President Trump.

Unfortunately, the Secret Service has been alerted once more… because, as one agent noted “damn it, we gotta have a good laugh too.”

This isn’t the first time Morning Joe’s Creepy obsession with something “other than filming Mika’s feet in private bunion porn” have caught the attention of the Secret Service.

The problem is, when the pair approached President Trump to fund a prime time television special, Joe was very unstable.

Morning Joe and Mika’s private bunion porn.

He approached President Trump, sat at his table with an excited  Mika and his pitch was this: “It’s artsy, classy. Just an hour and a half of me and Mika on prime time. No dialogue. She slowly takes off her shoes. Slo-mo camera closes in as I lift her feet to my face. She coyly rubs her bunions against my crotch. Then I’m gently kissing them, rubbing them across my cheeks, sucking her toes, holding them tenderly against my lips. She sighs. The camera pans down the sexy, bony features of her feet. Al Yankovich can do the soundtrack. 70 millimeter film, we can use that.”

“That’s it?” asked an incredulous Trump. “You playing with her weird ass feet? Please tell me you will keep your clothes on…”

“No. Can’t do that.”

Trump: “I SAID NO!”

“That’s it, Psycho Joe?”

“That’s it. Not 30 minutes, not 60 minutes, but 90 minutes. Isn’t that genius? It will make historical ratings.”


“Mr. President, you’re making a huge mistake!”

“I said NO!”

Psycho Joe didn’t take it too well, he was violently offended.

Trump suddenly dropped his fork and winced as he glanced at a growing red stain on the tablecloth.

“Low I.Q. Crazy Mika, hey, the table! Oh come on! REALLY, Mika? Really? Go home! Your face-lift is bleeding all over  the table! We’re trying to eat here!”

Worse, not too long ago it was a bunch of creepy texts from Psycho Joe to the President, but this is a bit of an escalation. “Cry for help maybe?” the agent asked.

Psycho Joe drunk texts the President of the United States.

FEM TV Video: Morning Joe Sings “I Can’t Stop Loving You, Mr. President, Please Stop Winning!”

Morning Joe’s musical abilities are right up there with his analytic acumen and his dubious standing as a political Delphic Oracle. When his show was about to get canned, he tried to get on The View. It didn’t work. He wasn’t rejected by The View because he is a man and it’s supposed to be for women only, being a coven of misinformed opinionated hags that do more fortune telling than Miss Cleo. He was welcomed as a beta male, but essentially he was escorted off the set because he couldn’t name the state he was in or explain one legislative branch.

Click for video.

But as for his latest hit, a toe-tapper to be sure, here’s some of the lyrics of “Mystified“…

I – I’ve been looking inside and I’ve been mystified by what I saw

I – I’ve been looking inside and I’ve been horrified by who I saw

I – I’ve been looking inside and you ain’t there

I – I’ve been looking down below

I – I’ve been looking in my booty hole

My – my booty hole

I – I’ve been looking at my Mika’s sexy bunioned feet

But – but I’d rather have your Presidential meat

In – inside my booty hole

He wanted to be The View’s band leader, too, starting each show with a Mexican pointy boots dance contest. Actually, that would have been pretty cool, in my humble opinion.

Not good enough for The View? Fuck you, you racists. These guys are bad ass. I’m with Joe on this one.

But why do they call him Psycho Joe? here’s a hint…

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