I Eat Pussy Too! Where’s My Presidential Medal of Freedom?

STFU Ellen. Eating pussy never made anyone a hero, or I would be immortalized in marble, in every city. So what if I’m a man, you sexists! I’m still a hero if she is!

Neither does dancing like an idiot make me a hero, which is my specialty. If they had a Dancing with the Stars That Are Not Stars That Dance Like Fucking Idiots, I would have a special. Fuck you and your shitty ass show and goofy dance. You have the moral authority of a masturbating chimp. Your biggest achievement will be that you’re remembered as the lady talk show host with the bad haircut prone to inducing grim visuals of you with a strap-on. Ew!