Merriam-Webster defines a shaggy-dog story as a long story or joke with an ending that is disappointing or that makes no sense. My life is a long shaggy-dog story, “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing” as Shakespeare would put it… which is a bummer because this is an autobiography. […]
It was bad. Awful. It was so terrible I wanted to walk up to the screen and punch JLo in the face. Not since she almost ruined Ben Affleck’s career with “Gigli” did I see anything so bad I wanted to self-immolate outside the theater in protest, and I would have had my friends not taken away my lighter. I honestly can’t understand how this movie ever got made. […]
“The file included documentation of a 2003 preliminary report on 9/11 which identified the event as a nuclear demolition on behalf of a terrorist organization that had accessed nuclear material from US stockpiles though Israeli penetration of the Department of Energy.” […]
One day, at a local arena, I walked backstage before her headline act. It was a strange sight. There was a huge pile of hair, about seven feet high, with a bit of movement coming from within it. I could hear the whirring sound of shearers, and finally, a woman popped her head out to draw a breath. It was Madonna’s assistant, and she was shearing her pits. […]
This is getting old. An ambiguous statement is interpreted as racist by pundits, and even misquoted, and half of America who backs Trump is smeared by association. In the latest example, it turns out that President Trump tweeted something to the effect that Baltimore is filthy and rat infested, and then largely white pundits, the real bigots, assumed he was talking about black people. Only a racist mind would think of blacks when he hears the word “rats.” […]
Upon learning Meghan Markle would not be present when he visits the Queen, a despondent President Trump found himself making appointments with the top trauma psychologist in town.
“I’ve defeated the Bush dynasty, the Clinton dynasty, the deep state that paralyzed our country, but I cannot defeat the staggering depression I feel from not having Mrs. Markle there when I visit. It’s not because the Queen made a very rare request for my appearance that I agreed to go. It’s because I actually want to see her. Just to see her…” he sobbed, trailing off. “Not good. Not good. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone really famous, and here we have England’s answer to the Kardashians. I hate the spotlight so I was really counting on having her distracting retinue of paparazzi steal the thunder from a state visit! So I am very distraught! Not good.”
When informed that she wasn’t even invited to the private audience, he was still not consoled.
“What did I do to deserve this? What do I have to do to win her approval?”
Did Q predict exoneration and destruction of fake news media complex over a year ago? How much did Q get right? […]
Whenever the media attacks Trump supporters, that is a figure that makes up 52% of the country, the majority. Every piece they did to support the hoax perpetrated by Jussie Smollett that he was attacked by MAGA supporters, i.e. when Chicago police now believe Smollett himself paid two black accomplices to attack him, that was all a direct attack on you with the full force of the Democrat party’s propaganda arm. It encompasses virtually every network, every studio, every major paper in America. All of that, against you, so that when you walk in at work or hang out with friends, people would treat you differently, and all of that to keep you divided against your family. […]
As of January 31st, 2019, the retracted Telegraph article by Nina Burleigh (another hit piece on Melania Trump) marked the second time in less than one year Burleigh’s pieces have been retracted, Before that, a piece about Russian bots taking down Sen.Al Frankin. Now Burleigh is suing The Telegraph for defamation because the paper apologized for Burleigh’s piece. So Nina, now that you know the sting of defamation, if indeed that is what the Telegraph did, perhaps you’ll ease up on the pointless dehumanization of the Trump family, for you may soon discover, in a most unpleasant manner, the liability of your past inaccuracies and falsehoods. If I may offer a humble suggestion, you may want to mark your pieces as “fiction” to avoid any future embarrassments. […]
An impious little poem honoring our humble atheist friends. […]
There is something very wrong when public schools teach little boys that their penis is actually a vagina if they so much as click their heels and wish it to be so, their key formative years be damned. They can take tons of sex hormones and have a sex change operation, but that won’t turn their male chromosomes into female ones or vice-versa. The gender debate is not science, it’s a cry for help from otherwise science-loving people that should know better. […]
It happened in Nuremberg after World War II. It happened in Rwanda, where media executives were tried and convicted of genocide.
Instead of one Josef Goebbels, who was to be tried for for Crimes Against Peace, we have several working in concert that were trying to start World War 3 with Russia. Goebbels committed suicide rather than face what was coming. His underling, Hans Fritzche, was tried. What will happen to our little gang of war mongering Goebbelings at CNN, NBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, New York Times, Washington Post, et al? Stay tuned. […]
In fact, because we know through Snopes’ own history they are hit and run defamation mercenaries for sale to the highest bidder, we couldn’t do anything but distance ourselves from these professional slanderers as a matter of conscience. We not only reject their endorsement, our legal team will ensure they never try to do it again. It was decided that our best option was to demand they call anything we publish correctly “false,” even retroactively, lest a “true” rating from these evil clowns suggest we are a willing part of their three-ring shit show; where ethical, professional journos are shot out of cannons into shark tanks and child molesters are fanned and held aloft obsequiously by a cheering Snopes caravan. […]
When your letters meant for posthumous release can never reach her now. […]
“We’ve got a terrible situation with this great patriot, he’s out of control and we must save him from himself.” OSS Chief “Wild Bill” Donovan, on outspoken Gen. George S. Patton. It’s a bit of the pot calling the kettle black when you have a nickname like “Wild Bill.” Go figure.
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