Stiletto Hating Newsweek Writer Thinks US Women Should Line Up to Give Bill Clinton a Blow Job

By |August 13th, 2017

Newsweek writer Nina "Dr. Scholl's" Burleigh, who attacks FLOTUS for for wearing heels, thinks US women should line up to give Bill Clinton a blow job. “I would be happy to give him a blowjob just to thank him for keeping abortion legal. I think American women should be lining up with their Presidential kneepads on to show their gratitude for keeping the theocracy off our backs.” This is a writer who covers the political beat.

Local Man Can’t Wait to Share Wisdom Gleaned from Cable News Panel

By |July 16th, 2017

Local man Haywood Tapper, 34, excitedly told reporters today that he just can't wait to tell his friends and family about what he learned from listening to pundits overnight. "I am just so glad there's much smarter people out there who can do my thinking for me, people to tell me what I should worry about because honestly, I shouldn't have that right in a world this complex. I know, thanks to these beneficent fellows, that I need to be afraid of Russians and that Putin is a bad, bad man. From all the time they spend on it I think it's more important than jobs, the economy, health care, even my life."

Katy Perry Stumps Neil de Grasse Tyson: “Is math related to science?”

By |July 1st, 2017

Neil deGrasse Tyson gets stumped by Katy Perry, the smartest girl in the world. PewDiePie delivers once again.Perry: Is math related to science?[crickets]Tyson: Most people who could be born, will never be born. Will never even exist.Perry: Like sperm...Tyson: Well, sure, yeah yeah-Perry: But it's science!Tyson: The rest don't.Perry: So where do they go?Tyson: They're dead!Later, Perry waxed philosophical.Perry: I wanna become a scientist now.Tyson: NO! uh, we need you, we need you on the stage. When you're done on the stage then we'll take you in.Perry: I might be done on the stage.

Nancy Pelosi Cites Spoof “Trump’s Time Machine” Book in Call for Impeachment

By |June 2nd, 2017

You may find the original article here.

Sen. John McCain: Putin is a Russian Agent

By |April 3rd, 2017

Warhawk and Lindsey Graham life partner John McCain declared this morning that Russian President Vladimir Putin is a Russian sympathizer and possibly a spy, citing a trusted source he obtained from gay dating app Grindr.

The Great Accomplishments of Hired Skeptics

By |August 15th, 2015

Shermerism: (noun) A delusional, pedantic belief system wherein all scientific wisdom is presumed already known. “Behold my marvelous Shermerism. I am so smart I know all science laws and paradigms and that includes future mathematical branches I prematurely criticize. As a gatekeeper in a secret brotherhood of illuminated miscreants I am the self-appointed judge of ultimate wisdom and falsehood. I play a devil's advocate just to be an asshole, and most people don’t really like me.”