“Get a load of my friend here. He showed his dream girl scans of his brain damage to try and impress her!” The waiter burst into laughter. “She call you back?” the waiter added. “She show you her mammogram?” asked Alex.Read more
With a daughter known to many on internet as “one of the dumbest mammals in recorded history,” a girl literally famous for how terrible her videos are, at least we now know the classy one in the family.Read more
The surest proof of media brainwashing is thinking you are just as informed as the President of the United States without cabinet advisers or the Presidential Daily Brief (PDB) from all key intelligence agencies. The 2nd surest proof of brainwashing is believing you are smarter than President Trump just because the media flatters you into believing it. Consider the skill set we need to be anywhere near his intelligence (estimated 156 IQ, genius, believe it or not, with accomplishments and skill sets that actually support an applied, not passive, 156 IQ). How many of us can say that we have, without having held any public office or political experience, ran for and won the presidency of the United States on the first try?Read more
As to whether her opinion that every American woman should be donning “Presidential kneepads” tweaked anything in the beltway remains to be seen. At last check, no House or Senate hearings were ever scheduled to investigate her sage advice that 150 million American women, consenting or non-consenting, should be fellating Bill Clinton.Read more
Local man Haywood Tapper, 34, excitedly told reporters today that he just can’t wait to tell his friends and family about what he learned from listening to pundits overnight. “I am just so glad there’s much smarter people out there who can do my thinking for me, people to tell me what I should worry about because honestly, I shouldn’t have that right in a world this complex. I know, thanks to these beneficent fellows, that I need to be afraid of Russians and that Putin is a bad, bad man. From all the time they spend on it I think it’s more important than jobs, the economy, health care, even my life.”Read more
Neil deGrasse Tyson gets stumped by Katy Perry, the smartest girl in the world. PewDiePie delivers once again.
Perry: Is math related to science?
Tyson: Most people who could be born, will never be born. Will never even exist.
Perry: Like sperm…
Tyson: Well, sure, yeah yeah-
Perry: But it’s science!
Tyson: The rest don’t.
Perry: So where do they go?
Tyson: They’re dead!
Later, Perry waxed philosophical.
Perry: I wanna become a scientist now.
Tyson: NO! uh, we need you, we need you on the stage. When you’re done on the stage then we’ll take you in.
Perry: I might be done on the stage.Read more
You may find the original article here.Read more
Warhawk and Lindsey Graham life partner John McCain declared this morning that Russian President Vladimir Putin is a Russian sympathizer and possibly a spy, citing a trusted source he obtained from gay dating app Grindr.Read more
Shermerism: (noun) A delusional, pedantic belief system wherein all scientific wisdom is presumed already known. “Behold my marvelous Shermerism. I am so smart I know all science laws and paradigms and that includes future mathematical branches I prematurely criticize. As a gatekeeper in a secret brotherhood of illuminated miscreants I am the self-appointed judge of ultimate wisdom and falsehood. I play a devil's advocate just to be an asshole, and most people don’t really like me.”Read more