Jeff Bezos Accidentally Swallows Hillary’s Sputum, Enters Demonic Portal

So Jeff Bezos goes into damage control...
So Jeff Bezos goes into damage control…

admin-ajaxHillary Clinton’s press tampon Jeff “Crazy Eyes” Bezos, a billionaire Clinton Foundation donor, was in the middle of spinning the latest fiasco in the Clinton campaign when, thirsty, he drank from a nearby glass of water on a podium. It proved to be a most unfortunate mistake.

Bezos, the owner of The Washington Post, has been put in charge of starting a war with Russia to keep the elites rich in case the dollar implodes at the end of the year.

No sooner had he fell into the portal before he sunk deep into a lake of fire. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he felt a strong, clawed hand rip his head from his body. Then the demon pointed his head towards his twitching body.

“You are ISIS now.”


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Methinks I am a conspiracy theorist. Art thou? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment herein?

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