Secretary Nikolai Patrushev has begun talks this past hour in Jerusalem with his Israeli counterpart Meir Ben-Shabbat and US National Security Advisor John Bolton, states that this critical summit seeking to avert an “End of World” scenario from developing has just been met with Iranian President Hassan Rouhani declaring “the fresh American sanctions targeting the country’s senior officials prove that Washington is lying about seeking to hold talks” and the Iranians further warning “these new sanctions mean the end of diplomacy”—a stance Russia fully backs by its vowing to “take measures against Washington’s major new sanctions on Iran”—and because of now sees tens-of-thousands of Russian troops in the Central Military District being placed on combat alert to counter the US-led 19-nation military coalition preparing for war across the border in Ukraine—the gravest consequence of now sees the Foreign Ministry warning that “Washington’s mindset is sliding back to limited nuclear war”—a threat Russia is fully prepared to meet with its “Nation Killer” warship Admiral Gorshkov whose “knife-edge poised” and “ready to fly” nuclear weapons are now under the protection of thousands of anti-aircraft missiles ready to defend it at its port in Havana-Cuba—thus placing the entire world on the brink of a nuclear conflict the likes of which has not been seen since the Cuban Missile Crisis nearly caused World War III in 1962. […]
According to this report, Ambassador Antonov, this past week, sought MoFA leadership permission to seek meetings with the new Democrat Party leadership of the US Congress to mend Russia-US ties—with his stating that with the midterm elections now over, he wished for a serious discussion on ways to mend relations, and restore inter-parliamentary dialogue between the two countries. […]
Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and his American counterpart US Secretary of State Rex Tillerson (both of whom are on the African Continent, with Tillerson have cancelled all events today and have established a secure communication channel enabling advisors of both President Putin and President Trump to maintain continuous contact while investigations are taking place into the whereabouts of US Navy Vice Admiral Charles Richard—who is the Deputy Commander of the United States Strategic Command (USSTRATCOM) that controls Americas nuclear weapons in time of war—and who, for reasons unknown, has not had his presence accounted for in the past nearly 24 hours. […]
Dick Smegma, 26, took a courageous stand today by siding with the majority opinion in a deep blue state where everybody hates Trump.
“I’m no hero,” Smegma said humbly to a crowd of cheering Hillary supporters as they burned Trump in effigy. “But sometimes you have to be brave enough to dispense with the courage of your convictions, and side with whatever is popular with the crowd.”
At press time, Mr. Smega was last seen in a Trump rally talking all manner of shit about Clinton. […]