offers

The telephonic press availability offer made yesterday by Ministry Spokeswoman Maria Zakharova to American journalists, whose intended purpose was to point out the fact that the just released Muller Report offered no actual evidence or proof that Russia meddled in the 2016 US Presidential Election, was met with total and complete silence—a bizarre reaction as these US journalists were supposed to have believed this fairy tale, and one would expect their wanting to relish this historic moment by pumping out even more “Russia! Russia! Russia!” fake news headlines—but whose silence becomes understandable upon the MoFA discovering that they were all left cowering in fearful terror upon their entering the White House yesterday to hear President Trump’s remarks on the Mueller Report. […]

A stern President Trump met with President Vladimir at the G20 with irrefutable proof of Russian election meddling. “You put Debbie Wasserman-Schultz up to rigging the primary. Can you deny this is you celebrating with Debbie, Podesta, and Mook after you heard Rich died? Didn’t you rig the primaries against Bernie so you could continue with more uranium deals after you managed to get 20% of ours with Hillary? You secretly wanted her to win. It was the perfect set up. You continued to pay her through the Clinton Foundation and more deals would be made to undermine our nuclear deterrent. Podesta would be Secretary of State and he already had business worth 35 million in Russia. You’re busted, Mr. Putin.”

President Putin was speechless, and hung down his head in shame. “It was Podesta the Molesta’s idea.”

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