leaking

Citing an anonymous CIA source, twice failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton peed herself earlier today at a gathering laying out the true reasons for her loss. News later emerged that the Russians were somehow responsible for leaking the full contents of her bladder before she could finish her speech. This time Russian leader Vladimir “The Bladder Whisperer” Putin did take the blame and said her vesica, a double agent, was “always a faithful leaker.” […]

According to Pentagon sources, the information Clinton disseminated publicly is Top Secret intelligence governed under the U.S. Special Access Program (SAP) which dictates safeguards and protocols for accessing and discussing highly classified and Top Secret intelligence. The specific details of the country’s nuclear response time discussed by Clinton, sources said, are only known by a handful of individuals outside top military brass, including the following “need-to-know” (NTK) officials:

President
Vice President
Secretary of State
Secretary of Defense
Secretary of Homeland Security
Attorney General
Director of National Intelligence
CIA Director
Deputy Secretary of State
Deputy Secretary of Defense
Special personnel designated solely by the President in writing
[…]