In Brief: Sen. Al Franken Gropes Dim-Witted 75 year old Centurion

News in brief. […]

After Russian president Vladimir Putin noted “I like Senator McCain to a certain extent. And I’m not joking. I like him because of his patriotism, and I can relate to his consistency in fighting for the interests of his own country” an angry John McCain burned an American flag, screamed “death to America” and cried “I do not appreciate that Russian’s duplicity.” Dismissing any suggestion of senility, McCain shuffled through the Senate floor with his pants around his ankles in an Antifa mask. “We need to bomb their children now before they can grow up and be big Putins. He propagates lies and hair gel and makes us look like a bunch of fire hydrants.” […]

The Secret Service has just released a troubling series of long rambling texts to the President by Morning Joe Scarborough, the beta male in the morning show with Mika Beserkski. […]