Equal Air Time for Child Molesters!

Why not?

If they had a lobby with enough money, they deserve equal air time… that is, if you’re in the corporate media. Let’s take NAMBLA, the North American Man Boy Love Association. Let’s say they had enough money to conduct studies that said young men weren’t harmed by same-sex sexual activities with consenting adults, and that in some cases the results were a positive influence in their lives and helped them come to terms with their homosexuality. How much do you want to bet every network would book them, even if the study was unscientific and the interviewed professionals were all pedophiles?

If NAMBLA was wealthy enough, it would be child’s play to create dummy corporations that would sponsor the news shows and thereby conceal their agenda. These sponsors, be they real companies owned by this hypothetical ALEC clone, would then have enough clout to influence programming decisions. They would use these fronts to give legitimacy to what is innately and obviously a ridiculous position, such as the argument that global warming is not man-made because, presumably, man cannot influence his environment. Or the position that wealth trickles down, income inequality is good, water is not a right (that means life is not a right, because water is life), or of course, that child molesters deserve equal time not necessarily because they have a defensible position, but because they sponsor the news shows.

Yet that is pretty much the same argument you’d hear from these guys. The fact is some arguments and positions are so obscene and self-evidently wrong that giving them equal air time can leave no question that the producers of any given news show airing them agrees, on some level, that the argument is important enough to be heard. Climate change denial wasn’t the product of the right-wing media alone, the “liberal”media ensured it would happen by presenting equal air time to what is and has always been junk science. Why did they do it? When you have five corporations owning all of the networks, this is bound to happen.

Back in July of this year a Washington Post headline read “BBC admonished for giving climate change deniers equal air time.” This isn’t unique to the BBC, however, and the Washington Post itself hosts the columns of climate change skeptics like Charles “Chicken Lips” Krauthammer, a man who believes climate change is superstition “like the rain dance” of Native Americans.

It does give one pause for thought, however. If there was a major child molester or goat rapist lobby with enough money, would they get equal air time with opposing views? How much do you want to bet these cave-schooled morons would be aired with the same respect and gravitas as tenured professors and scientists like climate change skeptics?

Thus, in this section, we’ll present an assorted collection of shit-eating freaks unworthy of serious consideration but more than worthy of the most egregious ridicule possible…

Climate Change Skeptics

Rush Limbaugh accepts his mom’s Sulfuric Acid Bucket Challenge for RLPD, i.e., Rush Limbaugh’s Painful Death Charity Drive 2014.

Don’t Hurt Yourself, Twatanyahoo! Only your publicist believes you, and you pay him to…