WH Gravely Warns Syrian President Not To Poison Children Unless He’s Governor of Flint, Michigan

The White House gravely warned Syrian President Bashar al-Assad not to poison children. Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced Monday that U.S. intelligence indicates Assad could be preparing a chemical attack that would “likely result in the mass murder of civilians, including innocent children.”  They would “pay a heavy price,” Spicer said. “You don’t ever poison innocent children without expecting to pay a heavy price.” Spicer than paused for a moment, adding “Unless Assad  is in Flint, Michigan, then he could do us a solid, perhaps, if he takes the blame for that lead poisoning, all that lead in the drinking water that’s poisoning American children. That might be acceptable. That’s some pretty evil shit from Obama’s time and we still haven’t washed that stain off own conscience in this administration.”

Woman shows effects of long term exposure to lead in Flint, Michigan drinking water.

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Methinks I am a conspiracy theorist. Art thou? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment herein?

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