Doctors: Morbidly Obese Michael Moore May Not Make It Next Four Years

Mass evacuation of Weinermobiles by National Guard after leaked Soros-Moore letter reveals his plan for a “resistance” pool party and a request John Podesta “find some hot dogs that could accommodate the guest of honor.” Although not edible, Oscar Meyer took no chances when it comes to Moore, who has long had a history of putting things in his mouth that he shouldn’t swallow, like coins, Legos, urinal cakes and globalist cock.

“At over 300 lbs. the mortality rate in his age group is very high. Such individuals are at a high risk of heart disease and cardiac arrest. With a body mass index well over 45, there is a co-morbidity factor that must be seriously considered. He could use a few sit ups, and lay off the hot dogs and cheese pizza.”


I Put On A Fat Suit To Understand What It’s Like To Be Your Mom


About Independent Press 539 Articles
Methinks I am a conspiracy theorist. Art thou? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment herein?