Mika, You Are Hereby Banned From Blowing Me

Mika “I Can Read Headlines All By Myself” Berserski, banned from delivering my morning blow job. Mourning Joe, you too dummy, I said no. Crying won’t help, bitch, and your “sexy, detachable jaws” can best service George Soros or John Podesta, recipients of your latest lipstick shades.

Mika Brzezinski, most unwholesome presstitute, your tears are meaningless to me. It’s no use crying. You are hereby banned from my Morning Blow. Don’t even ask, don’t even bother scouring the net for deals on knee pads.

So you are banning Kellyanne Conway from appearing on your show because she’s “no longer credible”? If this was an honest standard, you would be off the air before the first hour was finished. You would never book Hillary or her surrogates, either, after Wikileaks discovered she was in bed with 72 establishment journalists shilling for her campaign.

Just like her dear old dad. See below.

Mika Diddles Herself to Fake News, if From Hillary

Mourning Joe tried to guilt trip me with his selfie after I beat his ass. It worked so well the next day I added the other butt cheek to make up for it.

Truth welcomes debate, it doesn’t fear it.

If your talking points are based on something you know to be false, of course you will look for reasons to avoid guests who call you on it. Bill Maher is right about this refusal to actually engage in debate signals surrender, and he surrenders often on everything that really matters so he’d know. You can’t call everyone Hitler, not everyone has built death camps, but go figure, they do. She’ll be next, and eventually she’ll come full circle and see him in herself.

But this censorship of Kellyanne, that’s not cool. I truly looked forward to her polemically slapping you around with reason and your own words, and you took that away. 🙁

It means you are afraid, that you have already lost the argument. People who know they have a winning argument tend to salivate when they see a spokesperson they can destroy. Mika, seriously now, if she really wasn’t credible, you would jump at the chance to discredit an administration you openly despise. It is clear to any objective mind that the mainstream press is so fearful of Conway that they are reduced to this pathetic attempt to silence her.

This is different. This is an attempt at dehumanization and censorship, therefore, it is with sadness that The Impious Digest hereby declares that you, Joe Scarborough and your booking agents are indefinitely prohibited from blowing me.

I mean it, Mika, don’t even ask. It took a stern but gentle discussion with Joe as I walked him out the door with several kicks, but now he knows better, but you, sigh. Just stop. You fucked up.

Also, get a new hair dresser. Dutch Boy called, and he wants his hair cut back.

Speaking of a lack of credibility, eat this Morning Blow. Welcome to the company you keep.

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Methinks I am a conspiracy theorist. Art thou? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment herein?

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