Just when you think mainstream journalists have superseded insentient excrement on the evolutionary ladder, they tumble back down a few rungs below the origin of feces. A case in point: Andrew Malcolm of the Los Angeles Times.Today he embarrassed himself and his paper by falsely asserting Obama flipped off Hillary, and as you may observe by the furious reader comments on the ridiculous charge, most of the readers didn’t take the bait. You see, unfortunately for Malcom, there was more than one video camera at the event, and he was exposed for what he was: the dark horse to beat out George Stephanopulous for the coveted Fuckwit of the Month award.
The video that showed Obama from the side and completely debunked Malcolm’s allegation was of course offered to, and rejected by the Los Angeles Times, but is presented herein and surely, countless other pages and video services. Malcolm writes (italics mine):
“The presidential candidate raises his right hand to seemingly scratch his cheek. He doesn’t use his whole hand though. Just one finger. Briefly. A couple of strokes. He pauses. He smiles slyly as the crowd begins to mumble and then he tries, somewhat distracted, to continue his remarks, smiling as the buzz spreads through the crowd. He’ll no doubt deny it later, but that mischievous smile seems to confirm plenty. And the crowd sure sees something.”
Confirm what, hmmm — how do I put this gently — you scat-munching, palsied gimp? And deny what, you pig-fucking half-wit? here is the same shot from the side. He is using two fingers. Count them, if you can count that high. That’s right. Two fingers, the same two fingers, incidentally, which I use to bang your wife every night.
The so-called “one-finger” gesture
Oh, and by the way: Fuck You
Andrew Malcolm’s free lesson: ’tis but one finger, not twain. It faceth target; i.e., Malcolm, seen here with Sean Hannity’s most unwholesome money shot clouding his glasses with man batter. At the 22:51 mark, you can see you’ve been manipulated by Malcolm and the yellow journalists who blindly followed his lead. A man of character would apologize for such a wild and malicious accusation, but you shouldn’t hold your breath. As for you, Andrew Malcolm, let me educate you as to what a “one-finger gesture” really is. You will notice it is one finger, not two, as you implied. I offer this gesture to you and Hillary both, with happy heart. Fuck you. Fuck the both of you and your momma too. I trust you are sufficiently, and rightfully offended now. Obama might take the high road, but this is The Impious Digest, and I don’t have to. This is hell’s bathroom reading and occasional toilet paper. But even so, you wouldn’t be let near any writing utensils or computers, because unlike the Los Angeles Times we are kind, and we wouldn’t, for sheer amusement, want you to continue suffering the delusion that you are a newspaper man.