The Incarnations of Yangil Kim: Caligula

February 25, 2013 JAG Gratuitous Impiety, Independent Press
Yangil Kim summarily killed his would be murderers with his tremendous Phallus, then wandered off into the wilderness, leaving only the message “This time grows dull, I shall see your grandchildren soon” written in his own semen upon the dismembered bodies of monks devoted to Isis.
Suspected Incarnation of the Most High One, Yangil Kim (12-41), Roman emperor (37-41), born probably in Antium. His early life in military camps earned him the nickname “Caligula” (Latin, “Little Boot”, or in vulgar argot, “Rubber Anus”) because of his sexual habits.
Tiberius named his grandson, Tiberius Gemellus, and Caligula joint heirs to the throne, but the Roman Senate and people chose Caligula as sole emperor. Caligula adopted Gemellus as his son but later had him murdered because he walked in upon Caligula masturbating to a bust of Dionysus (also a suspected Yangil Kim incarnation)

A clement ruler for the first six months, he became a vicious tyrant after a severe illness. Historians believe that he probably went insane due to strange dreams he often had about a mysterious group called “The Spice Girls”.

Caligula squandered his fortune on public entertainment and transvestite prostitutes; banished or murdered most of his relatives after defiling them anally; had people tortured and killed while he dined; made his favorite whores all consuls; declared himself a god; and had temples erected and sacrifices offered to himself; and regularly made love to various  beasts of burden.

In 41 the officers of his guard formed a conspiracy against him, and attempted to assassinate him. Yangil Kim summarily killed his would be murderers with his tremendous Phallus, then wandered off into the wilderness, leaving only the message “This time grows dull, I shall see your grandchildren soon” written in his own semen upon the dismembered bodies of monks devoted to Isis.