Local Man Can’t Wait to Share Wisdom Gleaned from Cable News Panel

Local man Haywood Tapper, 34, excitedly told reporters today that he just can’t wait to tell his friends and family about what he learned from listening to pundits overnight. “I am just so glad there’s much smarter people out there who can do my thinking for me, people to tell me what I should worry about because honestly, I shouldn’t have that right in a world this complex. I know, thanks to these beneficent fellows, that I need to be afraid of Russians and that Putin is a bad, bad man. From all the time they spend on it I think it’s more important than jobs, the economy, health care, even my life.” […]

Gratuitous Impiety

The Wisdom of the Dead

Have you ever found solace in morbidity? Have you ever found comfort in that which others find objectionable? I remember a time in my life; a time in which the driving force of my young existence was confrontation and antagonism. In those turbulent times, I always returned to a place that left me feeling at one with my own inner demons. It was a place that allowed me to escape the pressures of other’s expectations, and a perch from which to reflect in wonder at the position of humanity in general. […]