How to Make Delicious Predator Cookies

May 13, 2018 JAG Cyrus the Stray, Editor, Gratuitous Impiety, Humor, Independent Press, JAG, Losers

Ingredients

2 cups creamy peanut butter (not the all-natural variety)
1½ cups granulated sugar
½ cup packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1 Whoopie Goldberg

How to Make It

Step 1

Heat oven to 350° F.

Step 2

Using an electric mixer, beat the peanut butter and sugars on medium-high speed until fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Reduce speed to low and beat in the eggs, baking soda, vanilla, and salt.

Step 3

Roll heaping tablespoonfuls of the dough into balls and place on parchment-lined baking sheets, spacing them 2 inches apart. With a lightly floured fork, press the dough to a ⅜-inch thickness, making a crisscross pattern on top of each cookie.

Step 4

Press Whoopie Goldberg’s face gently against cookie dough for molds.

Step 5

Bake, rotating the baking sheets halfway through, until the edges are set, 10 to 12 minutes. Cool slightly on the baking sheets, then transfer to wire racks to cool completely. Store the cookies in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days.