About Mike Mulletino

February 5, 2013 JAG Independent Press

If there is one section of society that needs a spokesman, it’s white trash America. Mike Mulletino is about as American as apple pie, a staple of this section of people. He is your average white trash guy, he drives a Datsun, yet works on a Camaro, he smokes camels and sports a mullet. He lives in a trailer, and has no job. His brushes with the law are more frequent than the times he changes his shirt. He has several names tattooed on him, and he isn’t afraid to show them. He gets into violent fights and conflicts frequently, and embellishes a bit when he talks about it. He encompasses everything about your typical mullet. And he is the man representing a part of society we’d rather forget.

Now, this isn’t rubberburner.com or supergreg.com, we aren’t even tryin to convince you that he’s real. He is a fictional character created for the now-defunct major-losers.com. Some say he was the reason for the popularity of the site in the first place. I am of the opinion that Mike was the driving force in the early days, and he is responsible for making the site so popular. But he isn’t real, so don’t get all upset and email me about advocating violence or anything like that. Even though he is just a character, read enough of his stuff, and you’ll grow to like the mulleted warrior. Mike was born in Sacramento, California. He dropped out of high school to hang out with his buddies at the bowling alley. He eventually settled down enough to rent a trailer with is on-again, off-again bitch, Cheryl.

What the fuck are you looking at, punk?They had some children, and some of them were even Mike’s. Cheryl works at the local Target™ and Mike still doesn’t have a job. Together they make a pretty decent family. Mike’s adventures notwithstanding, life is pretty stable for them. Enjoy the stories and adventures, and remember kids: This is fiction. Don’t try it at home.

–Jeremy

Mike Mulletino is a former Columnist for Major-losers.com. He lives in Sacramento, California, in the Walnut Grove Trailer Park, #4. He can be reached by e-mail. He cannot be reached by phone, that shit’s been disconnected. As far as we know, he really didnt kill any arab americans, as far as we know, he probably really never saw any.