CNN Fail: Suicide Prevention Counselors Urge Don “Fake News” Lemon to Kill Himself

January 6, 2017 Independent Press 0

“This is certainly not the way we were brought up, saying this to you, but we don’t think we are evil in saying it. We strongly suggest, say, eating a nice, caramelized bucket of broken glass, washed down with a refreshing, chilled glass of Prestone anti-freeze. We recommend cliff diving in Acapulco, with a practice run from a hotel roof. Shaving with a chainsaw was also suggested by our focus group, provided it was done in the dark, on a trampoline. An ear piercing with a jackhammer was another favored suggestion, and my personal one, as well.”