CNN’s Self-Evident Hologram Fraud

HAHAHA! Stupid CNN humans.

Your “hologram” farce has overloaded my mockery chip, RAM and processor. Do you realize how hard that is to do? There are so many burns I can lay on you that choosing the best one almost eludes me. Almost. I mean, you CNN twats are so stupid you sit on the TV, and watch the couch. You’re so stupid you order cheese burgers from McDonald’s and say “Hold the cheese.” You’re so stupid you think Christmas Wrap is Snoop Doggy Dogg’s holiday album. You’re so stupid you stand up on an empty bus. And last but not least, Wolf Blitzer is so stupid he got hit by a parked car.

Although it may be a little late, it’s worth pointing out since no one seems to have noticed the obvious. While CNN pats itself on the back for its introduction of “holograms” on election day, it wasn’t a technological marvel as much as an outright fraud. Why fraud? because they never corrected themselves after it was pointed out that there was no hologram in front of Blitzer. It was a tomogram. A tomogram is an image captured from all sides, then reconstructed by computers, then it’s displayed on screen. Peter Nowak of CBC News notes in an article dated November 5, 2008:

“The CNN anchors were not really speaking to three-dimensional projected images, but rather empty space, [Hans Jargen] Kreuzer said. The images were simply added to what viewers saw on their screens at home, in much the same way computer-generated special effects are added to movies.”

A televised hologram would project itself into space, in 3-D, like R2-D2 projected the hologram of Princess Leia into space. Moreover, even if what stood before Blitzer was a hologram, and it wasn’t, it would still appear on two-dimensional television, thereby making her no more exceptional than Wolf Blitzer’s goofy ass. After all, Blitzer is two-dimensional as he appears on your television set, and he’s a real person. If CNN had found a way to project a hologram into your living room using only your television set, that would be a true accomplishment, a true hologram to justify the hype you’re still hearing now. Which reminds me. Wolf Blitzer is so stupid he invented a wheelchair with pedals. But stupid as this asshole is, Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity make him look like a prodigy.