Shark vaginas have the most pubic hair of any sea creature. Source: CNN Lampreys have developed a symbiotic relationship, and groom their hosts with pube braids. Source: NBC I'M WITH HER: Joy Behar plays follow the leader. A botched circumcision left George Soros with a ball sack for eyes. Embittered ever after, this created the greatest super villain ever known, Globalist Man. Source: CNN Scroll Down

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Rare Adolf Hitler Speech Hints on Actual Cause of Nazi Defeat September 16, 2013 In a rare speech censored and lost for decades after World War II, Adolf Hitler delivers a grim confession historians have overlooked in studying  the unspoken psychological/environmental source of his genocidal rage. Discretion advised. KEEP READING Yay! More Complaints. October 14, 2015 "I selected all of the above just so I could send this message, while I appreciate news outlets that try to get the truth out there, a lot of this website comes off as way... KEEP READING Onion News Classic: First Video Newscast September 17, 2013 A classic. The Onion News presents its debut video newscast on "The Human Cost of Mexicans." A story on Lucent Technologies' Vice-President Raymond Boyle being replaced by illegal alien Alberto Fuentes who just two years... KEEP READING The Ultimate Revenge March 14, 2013 His girlfriend bones his boss. And he gets the ultimate (non-violent) revenge. KEEP READING Mika, You Are Hereby Banned From Blowing Me February 17, 2017 Mika Brzezinski, it's no use crying, you are hereby banned from blowing me. Don't even ask, don't even bother scouring the net for deals on knee pads. Truth welcomes debate, it doesn’t fear it. If... KEEP READING Mom of the Year April 2, 2013 Don't worry, she was arrested. KEEP READING Actual Elephant Art vs. Jackson Pollack March 3, 2013 Who is Jackson Pollack? According to legend... One day after wiping his posterior, the untalented but determined art school reject had an epiphany. He was staring at the smears on his soiled bathroom tissue, and was... KEEP READING PM David Cameron's Ex Catches Up With Him October 17, 2015 PETA drops the ball again, strangely silent on David Cameron. KEEP READING 7 Subliminal Hit Film Sponsors March 23, 2013 If you're sick of seeing product placement in movies and television, you're about to get sicker. Now you'll have a mental association of a brand based on a film title alone. You wont have to... KEEP READING I dumped my girlfriend over FOX News, and would do it again. April 3, 2013 I dumped my girlfriend Maureen over FOX News, and would do it again. In fact, I made up with her the next day just so I could break up with her again. KEEP READING The Seeing Past Hands Syndrome or McCain's Dementia November 22, 2015 Hey McCain, remember when you helped create ISIS with Sen. Graham? It's kinda obvious. Well, there's a strange psychological defense system some call the Seeing Past Hands Syndrome where if you have your eyes covered with your... KEEP READING Fake or Real? March 3, 2013 A waitress trips and crashes through a window. Some claim it's a fake. Anyone out there know? KEEP READING On the Execution of Gilligan February 27, 2013 Behold Gilligan's Island according to stark reality and probability. After fucking up every opportunity to get off the island, the castaways (unless they were as retarded as Gilligan himself) would eventually decide to get medieval... KEEP READING Netanyahu's Dramatic 45 Seconds of Silence at UN October 1, 2015 An interesting event indeed. In a dramatic gesture, Benjamin Netanyahu "mad dogs" the UN and seals his fate as one of the most notable speakers. Here's why. KEEP READING Bill O'Reilly's "Live Feed" from Moon Landing Questioned March 7, 2015 In O’Reilly’s latest salvo, this photo was released to prove once and for all that he would never lie about hitching a ride on the Apollo capsule to do a live feed from the moon. "I was determined... KEEP READING The Incarnations of Yangil Kim: Confucious February 26, 2013 Confucius was born and buried in the state of Lu. As a boy, This incarnation of Yang liked to set up sacrificial vessels and ejaculate into them. At the age of nineteen he married, and... KEEP READING A National Plan to Fight Cankles March 16, 2013 "Like you and many Americans, I have cankles- unsightly calves that go straight into my ankles...Yet, you are proof that a woman horribly afflicted with cankles can be sexy even outside the fetish fringes. What... KEEP READING What Exactly is a Mullet? March 5, 2013 Is it a ray-finned fish found in coastal temperate, fresh and tropical waters? or is the truth more sinister: that it is a hairstyle for an unfortunate few trapped in the 1980s, when the mullet... KEEP READING FOX News Bullshit February 28, 2013 FOX News Bullshit KEEP READING McCain: 60 Million Americans Colluded With Russians "because fuck you, that's why" July 11, 2017 In a stunning development, Sen. John McCain has asserted that 60 million American voters may have colluded with the Russians to deprive Hillary of the presidency she was rightfully entitled to "because fuck you, that's... KEEP READING