Shark vaginas have the most pubic hair of any sea creature.
Source: CNN
Lampreys have developed a symbiotic relationship, and groom their hosts with pube braids.
Source: NBC
I'M WITH HER: Joy Behar plays follow the leader.
A botched circumcision left George Soros with a ball sack for eyes. Embittered ever after, this created the greatest super villain ever known, Globalist Man.
Source: CNN
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Scripts
May 9, 2013
America’s Most Unwanted
Banned House Episodes
Censored Brady Bunch Episodes
Gump 2
On the Execution of Gilligan
The Inhalers
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Tracy Morgan: "I am Joy Reid, y'all! That kind of stupid is comedy genius!"
March 2, 2018
In Brief
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Donnie Hoyle is Back!
April 29, 2013
For more on the creators of You Suck at Photoshop, check out their profile in Time magazine.
Also, after five long years, Donnie Hoyle is back! Check out the 2012 season episodes.
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Coming Soon: Mike Wallace is Dead and So is 60 Minutes, So Fuck You Posers
November 13, 2015
To call evil good, and good evil, that is complicity. To allow a killer to hide his weapons in your house, and then lie about what you saw, that is all complicity. Welcome to the...
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How to Make DaVinci Cry
March 1, 2013
"All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals of this novel are accurate"...one of the most questionable "facts" Dan Brown lists in the opening page of The DaVinci Code.
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A Psychological and Artistic Profile of Piet Mondrian
February 25, 2013
Mondrian originally wanted to have his painting completely in gray tones, but could not totally contain his flamboyance, hence the dash of color here and there. Aside from his motives for painting in his neoplastic...
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Joe the Plumber Predicted by The Onion in '93?
March 24, 2013
May 29, 1993: The Onion's story about Roy the Forklift driver becoming a media darling of the conservative movement becomes, apparently, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or has talk radio dumbed us down so much what once...
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Censored Brady Bunch Episodes
September 13, 2013
Not every Brady Bunch episode made it past the zealous censors of 1970s television. Even this, the most innocent of shows, the most wholesome, managed to somehow offend the sensibilities of anal retentive network censors....
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"Please clap."
February 18, 2016
Please.
(The Editor)
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McCain Claims Russia Worse Than ISIS, Mumbles Obscenities, Shits Himself
May 29, 2017
"I know, I helped create ISIS to topple Assad and bring down Iran. I'm tired of people saying I am senile, it is not fair. Do I sound ill to you? Not even my doctor...
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Political Doublespeak Translator Pro
March 2, 2013
Never be Fooled Again! Impious Political analysts use only the best software when it comes to researching politicians, and we'd like to take this opportunity to thank the programming team that made the PDT (Political...
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Who's Your Daddy, Lady Cameron?
September 17, 2015
112,000 signatures on a petition to debate Israeli Prime Minister's status as a war criminal after slaughter over 2,200 civilians in Gaza over the suspicious killings of three Israeli youths. He gets a hero's welcome,...
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Robert Pattinson's Unibrow Walks Off Set
September 30, 2013
Robert Pattinson of "Twilight" fame had no comment after his unibrow walked off the set in a bitter contract dispute with producers refusing to recognize it as autonomous and sentient. Presently filming his new teen...
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Coulter a Scat-Sucking Gimp? Guilty
March 23, 2013
Like every book before it, the book is another tiresome rant about liberals. In fact, if you took out the word liberal it would be a flyer.
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Agent Joe Mahma
September 22, 2013
Joe Mahma, Impious Digest staff writer, stars in his first feature film set in 1960s Mexico. Here's a clip from "We Hope You Don't Speak Spanish."
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Ho Ho Ho
February 28, 2013
Hoe Ho Ho Here, Athenian critics weep as Yangil Kim announces Santa Clause is dead.
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In Brief: Secret Service Releases Morning Joe's Creepy Texts to President Trump
June 7, 2017
The Secret Service has just released a troubling series of long rambling texts to the President by Morning Joe Scarborough, the beta male in the morning show with Mika Beserkski.
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The Incarnations of Yangil Kim: Confucious
February 26, 2013
Confucius was born and buried in the state of Lu. As a boy, This incarnation of Yang liked to set up sacrificial vessels and ejaculate into them. At the age of nineteen he married, and...
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Hi. JK Rowling's Two Cents on BDS...
October 24, 2015
"Hi. JK Rowling's two cents on BDS amouts to the whole of my geopolitical awareness. I agree with JK Rowling on the BDS thing and her opposition to boycotting Israel, although I don't know exactly...
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Yangil Kim
March 3, 2013
“In her mind he was the answer to her fervent prayers, a man villainous enough to slam it in her tail pipe without warning.” And the more celebrated reincarnations… Ghandi Yangil Kim pictured here, in...
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