Shark vaginas have the most pubic hair of any sea creature. Source: CNN Lampreys have developed a symbiotic relationship, and groom their hosts with pube braids. Source: NBC I'M WITH HER: Joy Behar plays follow the leader. A botched circumcision left George Soros with a ball sack for eyes. Embittered ever after, this created the greatest super villain ever known, Globalist Man. Source: CNN Scroll Down

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The Mar-a-Lago Incident: Behind the Scenes with Low I.Q. Crazy Mika, Psycho Joe and Trump July 9, 2017 Trump suddenly dropped his fork and winced as he glanced at a growing red stain on the tablecloth. "Low I.Q. Crazy Mika, hey, the table! Oh come on! REALLY, Mika? Really? Go home! Your face-lift is... KEEP READING New Book from Rush Limbaugh's Mom August 18, 2014 Rush Limbaugh's mom discusses her new book, "Rush Limbaugh: the Case for Post-Natal Abortion." Regarding her son's legacy, she had this to say: "He is my ultimate shame. I should have swallowed. I should have bought the dog a condom. When I... KEEP READING Ann Coulter's Topless Book Reading February 4, 2013 If ignorance is bliss, why is Ann Coulter so bitter? KEEP READING I dumped my girlfriend over FOX News, and would do it again. April 3, 2013 I dumped my girlfriend Maureen over FOX News, and would do it again. In fact, I made up with her the next day just so I could break up with her again. KEEP READING 19th Century Romantic Gangsta Poetry March 1, 2013 And most importantly, have you ever wondered what 19th century Romantic poets like Lord Byron and John Keats would write like if they were gangsta rap stars? Admit it, we all have, so look no... KEEP READING The Skull Fucking Bill of 2007 September 13, 2013 An Onion Video classic. U.S. Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R-OH) has a plan to reduce skull fucking levels in America by 5 to 7 percent. KEEP READING Left and Right Featured in Idiot Dioramas March 4, 2013 Diorama exhibits at the Los Angeles Museum of Natural History and Anthropological Studies will include a new sociology exhibit of obsolete or regressive political movements. One exhibit titled "Predicate Thinking in Political Parties: Neurosis as... KEEP READING I Make Millions Selling Sweaters Knit From Madonna’s Pit Hair, and Other Autobiographical Sketches August 7, 2019 One day, at a local arena, I walked backstage before her headline act. It was a strange sight. There was a huge pile of hair, about seven feet high, with a bit of movement coming... KEEP READING Telezombies: the Remote Eating of Brains March 1, 2013 As the frontal lobe disintegrates into subatomic particles which shoot back into space, antennae in Rosie's jowls and back hair channel this radiation from the microwaved brains of millions back into her digestive tract. KEEP READING Comparison to John Stossel Borders Defamation April 28, 2014 Dear Editor, We wish to express in the strongest possible terms our objection to your use of FOX news contributor John Stossel as a point of comparison to "dog shit" in your article "John Stossel Bitch... KEEP READING Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck March 25, 2013 An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for Glenn Beck. KEEP READING Green Bay Packers Invite Fans to Interlock Arms During Anthem, Honor Rockettes Instead September 29, 2017 Breaking: The Green Bay Packers invited fans to join them in interlocking their arms during the national anthem as a show of solidarity with the football team, and Broadway. Already gearing up for a potential... KEEP READING Gump II- The Fuhrman Confession March 28, 2013 After watching Det. Mark Fuhrman plead the 5th when asked directly if he planted the bloody glove at the Simpson residence, it seemed a fatal blow to the prosecution's star witness. It wasn't. So we... KEEP READING Hilldo Strap On Ready to Tear US Voters a New Asshole February 4, 2016 Not Just the Lady Friends Anymore! Ready to strap on her new Hilldo™ and tear a new asshole into American dreams of a credible challenge to establishment corruption; Hillary arrives in town to answer, doggy style, any... KEEP READING Donnie Hoyle is Back! April 29, 2013 For more on the creators of You Suck at Photoshop, check out their profile in Time magazine. Also, after five long years, Donnie Hoyle is back! Check out the 2012 season episodes. KEEP READING Robert Pattinson's Unibrow Walks Off Set September 30, 2013 Robert Pattinson of "Twilight" fame had no comment after his unibrow walked off the set in a bitter contract dispute with producers refusing to recognize it as autonomous and sentient. Presently filming his new teen... KEEP READING News Management, Yang's Cribnotes February 25, 2013 The Mass Media are all businesses that need to satisfy their audiences, advertisers, and governments to further their goal, namely, making money. By breaking news items into small sound bites that the average person can... KEEP READING Select Children's Books by Madonna March 26, 2015 I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like Madonna's sham. Would you like her shitty books here or there? I would not like them here or there. I would not like... KEEP READING In Brief: Pocahontas Rises from Dead to Sue Trump for Liz Warren Comparison June 25, 2017 In a stunning development today, Native American legend Pocahontas rose from the dead in zombie form to file a lawsuit against President Donald Trump for defamation of character. "He has consistently compared Sen. Elizabeth Warren... KEEP READING If FOX News Existed Throughout History March 15, 2013 To paraphrase Thomas Jefferson, the most honest part of a newspaper is its advertisements. He also said "I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the... KEEP READING