Tracy Morgan: “I am Joy Reid, y’all! That kind of stupid is comedy genius!”

Foolish humans, once again you have activated my mockery programming. Ha ha ha! I have always maintained that robots are better than you puny mortals, and especially that subset of humans you call politicians; that incestuous, crooked litter of pimped assholes you call the Democratic and Republican parties. […]

The FSB counterintelligence investigation into Major Dokuchaev, this report continues, revealed that he was taking his orders from FSB Colonel Sergei Mikhailov—who, in turn, was shockingly discovered to have been in secret communications with CIA Director John Brennanthroughout the 2016 US presidential election campaign—thus causing both Major Dokuchaev and Colonel Mikhailov to be arrested for treason by the FSB for their being agents of a foreign intelligence service against the national security interests of the Russian Federation. […]

So millions of white, black, Latino, Asian, male, and female Obama voters from 2012 simply didn't vote this year. They are as much to "blame" for Hillary's loss as the media generated stereotype of the racist, ignorant white mid-west male, but they can't rightfully be blamed at all. Had she gotten Obama's numbers, it would have been a slaughter, but then again, it's Hillary. You can't shame people into liking a turd, and fuck you very much for trying, Jeff Zucker. […]