Sorcha Faal

US Attorney General Barr: “I Don’t Know Where To Land Without Being Shot”

President Putin’s just issued warning that “the world has indeed approached a dangerous line” has been received from no less a figure than US Attorney General Barr who fearfully declared “I’m trying to figure out where to land without being shot” as he wends his way through the greatest crisis in modern American history that saw Hillary Clintonbeing illegally absolved of her crimes, while at the same time President Trump is still battling the coup plot seeking to destroy him—with Barr now seeing being arrayed against him the powerful socialist Democrat Party leader Nancy Pelosi who says she “wants to see Trump in prison”—who’s now been joined by Democrat presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke who said “I will prosecute Trump if I win in 2020”—and Barr knowing he’s not far behind Trump as evidenced by Democrat presidential candidate Kamala Harris who says he “lied to Congress”—but are threats being made against a man who has “called for the imposition of God’s law in America” and further stated “the secularists of today are clearly fanatics”—thus making it no surprise last week, when being interviewed by CBS News, and asked about his fears, Barr stoically replied: “Everyone Dies”.  […]

Donald Trump

Media Erupts After Trump Eats a Burrito Without Their Permission

After a withering attack for eating a burrito without their consent, Donald Trump ordered a giant 6 foot burrito and appointed it Secretary of Go Fuck Yourself CNN. “He’s appropriating a cultural heritage,” cried CNN’s Don Lemon as his panel nodded grimly. “It’s dangerous and likely to exacerbate racial tensions.” Never one to shy away from controversy, PEOTUS Donald Trump immediately got himself a taco bowl, and washed the meal down with a vintage 2016 bottle of Rachel Maddow’s election night tears. […]