Upon learning Meghan Markle would not be present when he visits the Queen, a despondent President Trump found himself making appointments with the top trauma psychologist in town.
“I’ve defeated the Bush dynasty, the Clinton dynasty, the deep state that paralyzed our country, but I cannot defeat the staggering depression I feel from not having Mrs. Markle there when I visit. It’s not because the Queen made a very rare request for my appearance that I agreed to go. It’s because I actually want to see her. Just to see her…” he sobbed, trailing off. “Not good. Not good. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone really famous, and here we have England’s answer to the Kardashians. I hate the spotlight so I was really counting on having her distracting retinue of paparazzi steal the thunder from a state visit! So I am very distraught! Not good.”
When informed that she wasn’t even invited to the private audience, he was still not consoled.
“What did I do to deserve this? What do I have to do to win her approval?”