McCain: 60 Million Americans Colluded With Russians “because fuck you, that’s why”

By |July 11th, 2017

In a stunning development, Sen. John McCain has asserted that 60 million American voters may have colluded with the Russians to deprive Hillary of the presidency she was rightfully entitled to "because fuck you, that's why."Sen. John McCain, who is scheduling hearings on the matter, told reporters that "We have damaging evidence that these 60 million, mostly Republican voters directly colluded with Russia to elect Hillary. As proof, we have ballots, actual ballots showing that they voted for Trump, and not Hillary, and that's treason, if not collusion, according to the Washington Post, CNN, The New York Times editorials. These nefarious conspirators shared unflattering memes and information regarding Hillary Clinton. Because this is what Putin wanted, we clearly have a smoking gun. The egg beater does not lie, Doctor Watson, this is an existential threat to American fish bladders that requires boots on the ground beef to send a clear message to Putin. Do not bippity boppity the oven mitt for two birds in the bush, this is an outrage."