Let’s not forget that the women’s march, as large as it was, excluded Hillary Clinton. That’s how unpopular she really is. She also destroyed the DNC to the extent all of their staffers had to get fired to purge the systemic corruption and Clinton cronyism that ruined it as she attempted a coronation. Surely President Trump knows that her return from the woods is deeply appreciated by independents, Republicans, progressive Dems and most mammals. Outrage fatigue? Not helping. Calling everyone and everything racist and sexist? How’s that working out for you?
Not Just the Lady Friends Anymore!
Ready to strap on her new Hilldo™ and tear a new asshole into American dreams of a credible challenge to establishment corruption; Hillary arrives in town to answer, doggy style, any impudent calls for a meritocracy. With palpable excitement, she cheers the arrival of her latest strap on model, The Hilldo™ , after weeks of delay. Other upcoming variations include the larger Amy Poler and the Humadork 69. (Incidentally, dork is an informal reference for a whale penis.) Above, Hillary tests the self-lubricating Hilldo™ Bushlover 666, which features vibrating forklift action and jackhammer engineering.
“Like you and many Americans, I have cankles- unsightly calves that go straight into my ankles…Yet, you are proof that a woman horribly afflicted with cankles can be sexy even outside the fetish fringes. What is your secret? Are you some mysterious enchantress? What spell have you cast on us? and what is your national plan to combat the growing threat of cankles in America?”