The Society for the Appreciation of Bitch Slappin’ the Mimes

A satisfied customer (not pictured).

The Impious Digest hires only the best and strongest pimps to administer the bitch slappin’ we give to mimes across the nation.

But it’s not cheap. Ice packs (for bruised knuckles), travel expenses, bail money and legal fees are just part of the expenses incurred in our efforts to make every child smile. Our pimps charge an hourly wage, but a fair one.

Your donations help insure this worthy cause is not mime_cornerabandoned.

Please give ’til it hurts…them!

Any donations will be charged to the Impious Digest Mime Bitch Slappin’ Referral Service. If no mimes are available, MTV video jockeys may be used instead. If neither is available, the money will be spent on any or all of the following: crack, whores, beer, and lotto tickets.

Comments? email editor@impiousdigest.com

Testimonials

Violence against Mimes not cool

SlingbladeCarI@aol.com

Shakespeare sayeth unto Carl: “Universal Non-verbal Mime Greeting.”

Mon, 09 Jun 2003 07:29:15 -0600

Subject: Encouraging violence not cool

To: editor@impiousdigest.com

What’s with the bitch slap a mime campaign? that supposed to be funny, motherfucker, encouraging people to beat up on performing artists? What’s next? kick a street musician in the face? My dad is a mime and he makes more money at one gig than you will see in your whole pathetic life.  You’re a sick and twisted fucker and I hope all the people who send in money get their asses kicked. Your site sucks and i will never visit it again.

I should hunt you down and kill you. But I will call a lawyer instead…

Please just die asshole.

Carl

Dear Carl,

I was wondering whose dad that was in the picture of the bitch slapped mime. So it was yours, huh?

Listen man, mimes are evil. I’m tired of going to the mall and consoling little children scared shitless by unfunny and annoying mimes. I’m not alone in this. A recent Gallop poll noted 97% of all women fantasize of slapping the shit out of mimes during sex. This includes your mom.

CC BY 4.0 This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.