LOS ANGELES, ID: Robert Pattinson of "Twilight" fame had no comment after his unibrow walked off the set in a bitter contract dispute with producers refusing to recognize it as autonomous and sentient. Presently filming his new teen romance "Smell My Finger, Dudes", Robert had little to say except he can't resume filming until he stops waking up to this...
The highly anticipated new film is about a vampire working in a "magical" carnival booth where he asks people to smell his finger for a dollar. Those who guess his last conquest correctly wins a stuffed animal.
The vampire is making millions until Fella, his bi-curious girlfriend, comes by to guess while in a Halloween disguise and horrified; recognizes her own unique, delicate bouquet of lilacs, Vagisil and tuna.