Psychologists Announce New Shit Stain Card After Hillary Announces She is a Rorschach Test

A fascinating Security Council (SC) report circulating in the Kremlin today details a lengthy exchange held during today’s meeting between Members President Putin and Chairwoman of the Council of Federation Valentina Matviyenko wherein “alarms” were expressed relating to recent communications held between Chairwoman Matviyenko and former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (Matviyenko and Clinton are long time comrades) regarding the 2010 “deal” made between Russia and the Obama regime for the release of Masterspy “N”—and who was previously identified as being Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) “deep cover operative” Lidiya Guryev—whose now legendary exploits allowed her to penetrate the most secure regions of the American government to such an extent, a widely popular US television series, titled “The Americans”, was created in her honor.  […]

In her new memoir What Happened, Hillary Clinton writes that “I was tempted to make voodoo dolls of certain members of the press and Congress and stick them full of pins.” However, while making the rounds and finding herself more unpopular among Democrats and progressives in her Blame Everyone Tour, she has decided to use the proceeds from the Clinton Foundation to redeem herself, and plans to reboot the Haitian economy. She has ordered 63 million voodoo dolls custom made for each individual Trump voter. […]