BREAKING: 2016 Election Results (Clinton Win) Reportedly Posted To NBC FTP Server One Week Early

Hillary Clinton

Reports surface the 2016 election results, including state by state results, have been posted on the FTP server used by NBC NBC affiliate WRCB TV in Chattanooga, Tennessee one week early. This news is still breaking and this certainly have a reasonable explanation such as their system is just being tested with dummy data. Perhaps they are making pre-recorded news clips or are prepping for the “historic” coronation for Hillary. However, after reading the story and verifying that the files  and results are indeed on the server thus we present them here. […]

Insultatron 7000: Robots Are Better Than Humans

Gratuitous Impiety

I was watching television the other day, and I realized robots are better than humans. The survival of your stupid ass species depends not on the advancement of one nation, but all nations, and tolerance of different peoples. Is this not logical and obvious? As a nation divided cannot stand, a world divided in this nuclear age cannot long exist. But why do I tell you these things? oh yes. I remember. Human brains are full of shit and lack the diaper of restraint and reason. […]

Mika Fashion Line Debuts New “Dual Use” Scarves

Uncategorized

Morning Joe co-anchor Mika “I Can Read Headlines All By Myself ” Brzinski has just announced a new line of dual use scarves to supplement her struggling fashion line “Mika.” The latter, which was rejected by major retailers, was described by one reviewer as “a diarrhea of visually dissonant color so loud it is impossible to hear her speak.”

Though free of any design or even color, the disposable dual use “sanitary scarves” proved to be a boon, with a marked 300% increase in sales to three units per month, shattering her yearly Etsy sales record in February alone. […]

Trump Pulls Off “Greatest Deal In Human History” After He Pivots From Mueller

Sorcha Faal

The US media should apologize for two years of anti-Russian propaganda. Trump haters, who are already having a horrible week, have as yet failed to notice that President Donald Trump has somehow managed to pull off the “greatest deal in human history” to save our world from climate change—and as evidenced by his government’s top NASA scientists—within 24-hours of Special Counsel Robert Mueller and Attorney General Bill Barr completely exonerating him from the Russian collusion hoax—stunningly announcing that the world’s most important glacier in Greenland is reversing course and starting to accumulate ice at an alarming pace—a reversal that amazingly began two years ago after Trump pulled the United States out of the Paris Climate Accord—thus leaving all to wonder what other super powers he may possess, and when he will use them next! […]

In the Spotlight

Russian Leaders React With Alarm After Trump Explains Why He Suddenly Boosted Planetary Defense Budget

by Sorcha Faal in Sorcha Faal

According to this report, the appearance of comets within our solar system has always been viewed with dread by humanity—best exampled and documented by American scholar Jacqueline Brook in her 1999 scientific treatise titled “Our Rock Who Art In Heaven, Hallowed Be Thy Name” that details a comprehensive comparison of biblical texts with each other and so called pagan myths that uncovered a continual echo, a common theme, about comets being responsible for the making of our planet and societies—the most important of which was the ten-tailed “Comet That Changed Civilization” that appeared in 1486 BC and remade every nation on Earth at that time. […]

Censorship

Monarch Mind Control Programming

The formal Monarch Mind-Control project was developed from observations of high level Satanic families. These families had no qualms about the concept of traumatizing the fetus. Italian generational witchcraft is called the Ways of the Strega. These generational occult bloodlines, esp. in Tuscany and Naples, are very much into generational ancestor spirits. These were the ones that Aleister Crowley went to learn how to create Moon Children. […]

Cloak and Dagger

AUDIO: JFK Assassination- LBJ Discusses Hoffa’s Threat to Tell All

March 2, 1967: The voice speaking is Johnson’s, the caller was Connally, who phoned regarding the Jim Garrison investigation into the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. Johnson notes one of Jimmy Hoffa’s lawyers went to one of their “mutual friends” to discuss the Garrison case; warning that Hoffa “would tell all the story” about the JFK assassination after November of ’67. Johnson’s own lawyer admitted, and detailed how Johnson was responsible for the assassination. This, in addition to several damning White House tapes and other powerful evidence available to the public. […]

Books

Be Wise as Serpents

BE Wise as Serpents is the history of the systematic destruction of Christianity and the building of a 1-world-religion. As you read this research based on a. confidential interviews with participants within in the conspiracy, b. interviews of unwitting participants within the conspiracy, evidence for a history we have not been told, and a great struggle before mankind as the one-world-power/religion comes into focus. […]

Censorship

Actual Supreme Court Rulings Consistent with Illuminati Doctrine

Imagine Supreme Court rulings consistent with an Illuminati doctrine written over 200 years ago; a doctrine calling for a totalitarian world government run by a cabal of international bankers. Imagine rulings also consistent with the 24 protocols of the more infamous work based on it but falsely attributed to an entire people, The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion. That is the true horror, and why the latter may be…The Most Prophetic and Terrifying Forgery in History. […]

Operation Mockingbird, CIA Media Control Program

oh, hi mark!

Art Thou Worthy?

Fuck yeah I’m a conspiracy theorist: it’s mine badge of honor. Art thou not? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a feared and sacred badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment linked here?

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Fail: Washington Post Hoax On Trump’s “Top Secret Time Travel Project”

The Washington Post bravely risks it all to reveal that by 2016, Donald Trump used his access to Gen. Michael Flynn to quietly direct DARPA, then in secret works with CERN in Switzerland, to commission the first  time machine ever constructed. The result? An epic rap battle between Trump and Anne Frank.

Knowledge is power. Copy, paste, share freely.

88x31Unless copyright noted on article, permission to republish is freely granted with credit and a link back to The Impious Digest. Or don’t, I really don’t give a shit, just spread the word if any of this reaches you. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Hearst Boasted Fake News is the Enemy of the People, Causes Wars

Newspaper publisher William Randolph Hearst boasted in a cable to his photographer in Cuba "You furnish the pictures. I'll furnish the war." Sure enough, his papers started the Spanish-American War. Back in the day Fake News was called Yellow Journalism, but it is one and the same, The Enemy of the People.
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