Onion News Classic: First Video Newscast

A classic. The Onion News presents its debut video newscast on “The Human Cost of Mexicans.” A story on Lucent Technologies’ Vice-President Raymond Boyle being replaced by illegal alien Alberto Fuentes who just two years earlier crossed the Arizona border in the back of a melon truck, and according to leaked internal documents, was willing … Continue reading

Joe the Plumber Predicted by The Onion in ’93?

May 29, 1993: The Onion’s story about Roy the Forklift driver becoming a media darling of the conservative movement becomes, apparently, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or has talk radio dumbed us down so much what once was so unlikely as to be satirical now surprises no one? In the article, the uneducated forklift operator from Ohio … Continue reading

The Skull Fucking Bill Of 2007

Live From Congress: The Skull Fucking Bill Of 2007 2:40 An Onion Video classic. U.S. Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R-OH) has a plan to reduce skull fucking levels in America by 5 to 7 percent.

Report: 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic

Report: 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for Glenn Beck.
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Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life

Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life 2:32 After comprehending the capricious nature of fate, the Jaguars could not go through with the charade of playing a meaningless football game.

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Healthcare

Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Healthcare
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Representative Wants To Rid Congress Of Gang Members

Live From Congress: Representative Wants To Rid Congress Of Gang Members 1:57 Congressman Porter (R-IN) urges immediate action against the gang members that have infiltrated our neighborhoods, our schools, and even the Capitol.
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World’s Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100

World’s Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100
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Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas
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Gap Unveils New ‘For Kids By Kids’ Clothing Line

Gap Unveils New ‘For Kids By Kids’ Clothing Line
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In The Know: Is The Government Spying On Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough?

In The Know: Is The Government Spying On Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough?

Domestic Abuse No Longer A Problem, Say Bruised Female Researchers

Domestic Abuse No Longer A Problem, Say Bruised Female Researchers Continue reading

In The Know: Candidates Compete For Vital Idgit Vote

In The Know: Candidates Compete For Vital Idgit Vote
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Viewer Voices: Where We Respond To The Opinions Of Our Uninformed Viewers

Viewer Voices: Where We Respond To The Opinions Of Our Uninformed Viewers

Diebold Leaks Results Of 2008 Election

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

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Mitt Romney Denies Charges Of Tolerance

Mitt Romney’s candidacy took a major hit following the discovery of statements he made a decade ago that imply he isnt sickened by gays.

Christmas Message from Our Troops

Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor

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Rep. Wants To See, Meet More Kids Online

Rep. Gelinas proposes an educational bill to increase the number of young people he meets in under-13 chat rooms. Continue reading →

Use Of ‘N-Word’ May End Porn Star’s Career

Cum Inside’ star Jennica St. Foxx is receiving heavy criticism for using a racial slur in her latest film. Use Of ‘N-Word’ May End Porn Star’s Career

‘Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,’ Says General

‘Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,’ Says General Gen. McBrayer discusses how valuable homosexuals are, and why we must never put their lives at risk by allowing them in the military.

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Mean Automakers Dash Hopes for Flying Cars

 Mean Automakers Dash Nation’s Hope For Flying Cars

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White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase

White House officials admit Obama’s extreme confidence and total euphoria over “hope” and “change” were symptoms of a prolonged manic episode.

Americans Observing 9-11 by Trying Not to Masturbate

Americans say attending a 9/11 vigil or observing a moment of silence to only then come home to jerk off is disrespectful and wrong.