Ode to the Humble Atheist

An impious poem honoring our humble atheist friends.


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Ode to the Humble Atheist

Who in humility
somehow knows
how matter can evolve from nothing
yet need not explain
and much less prove it
for vainly did I gaze into an empty petri dish
watching nothing create nothing
oh share your secret wisdom
how did that petri dish create the universe?
oh share your secret wisdom, oh grand and noble atheist
with our feeble minds!

bless the  humble atheist
who knows what came before the big bang
yet need not explain
to our lesser minds!
lest in our thirst for knowledge
we drown in a sea of wisdom
for they are all-knowing

bless his humble soul
that in his secret knowledge
protects us from his overwhelming brilliance
mocking those that ask only
why the scientific method can prove life creates life
when he can’t create a mere atom from scratch?
leaving a cognitive dissonance
that only steels his resolve to stay blind
and lead others in the dark

bless the humble atheist
for pooh-poohing empirical data
inconsistent with his confirmation bias
defying grade school science classes
but he knows all
and need not prove it

bless the humble atheist
for assuming my quest
for the origin of life
and the origin of the universe
has anything to do with religion
when it is all about science, and nothing more

bless the humble atheist
he is so erudite indeed!
as he watches Bill Maher
and touches himself impurely
to erotic fantasies of his giant brain
and even bigger nose
pounding his unwholesome booty hole

bless the humble atheist
for not having to explain the unexplained
rather than buttress his argument
for whose sake lesser minds
have become abhorrent to him

bless his humble soul
for keeping that secret atheist wisdom well-hidden
lest it overwhelm our feeble mortal minds

bless him
for being so damned humble
as to shame us all