Nina Burleigh: “I would be happy to give [Bill Clinton] a blowjob just to thank him for keeping abortion legal.” BTW, did you know the first thing people notice about your attire is your shoes? Make an alluring impression! Introducing The Burleigh, more comfortable than stiletto heels, women friendly, and available at your finest orthopedic outlets everywhere!

See: 

Newsweek: First Lady Melania Trump ‘Normalizing’ High Fashion Stiletto Heels

Shaming women for the shoes they wear: keeping it classy, Newsweek?

This hiatus allows us to reflect on a minor Trumpian trend to which the nation has become accustomed since January: the ubiquitous stiletto pump. The vertiginous spike-heel shoe is not currently in fashion, but for Ivana, Ivanka, Melania and the Trump daughters-in-law, Carrie Bradshaw’s shoe of choice never went out of style. In fact, the female consorts of the Leader of the Free World do not set foot in public without first molding their arches into the supranatural curve that Mattel toy designers once devised for Barbie’s plastic feet.

Six months in, and the Trump women are well on their way to normalizing the footwear of the beauty pageant. The Cinderella shoe fitted on the feet of all the Miss Teen USA’s and Miss Universes who ever beamed under the Trumpian gaze in contests of yore also is the shoe that average women can bear for only a few hours at weddings or proms, before casting them off, moaning and rubbing their soles.

My critic hat.

First, let me put on my critic’s hat, which is admittedly an unflattering dick hat, just to say that Nina, I get the fact you need to fill some space on the page to justify a Columbia journalism degree, but these are just two paragraphs out of your article cry for help and something stands out. Your penchant for dusty five dollar words are better suited for a game of Scrabble, not self-righteous digs at women prettier than you. Had you been playing that board game instead of embarrassing yourself with this ridiculous nonsense, as a virtue signaling “feminist” shaming women for the shoes they wear, you would have won big. You might even feel better about yourself and you’ll be comforted in knowing you put that trusty thesaurus to good use as a Scrabble champ, instead.

Don’t mess with Nina when it comes to Scrabble. She’s a bad ass, and she loves to show it off in her writing.

For example, your first paragraph alone: Vertiginous is 15 points, Well done, genius! Ubiquitous is 21 points! you’re on a roll! Damn, I wish you were my friend!  Consorts is 10 points. Meh.  And supranatural is 14 points! 

So here, a Newsweek writer who attacks FLOTUS Melania Trump for for wearing heels is the same woman who thinks US women should line up to give Bill Clinton a blow job:

“I would be happy to give him a blowjob just to thank him for keeping abortion legal. I think American women should be lining up with their Presidential kneepads on to show their gratitude for keeping the theocracy off our backs.”

Her Wikipedia entry notes that “In a 1998 essay for Mirabella, Burleigh described an occasion aboard Air Force One when she noticed President Bill Clinton apparently looking at her legs. The piece led to her being described as “the Ally McBeal of former White House reporters” by columnist Ellen Goodman. Approached by a Washington Post media reporter to discuss the Mirabella article, Burleigh stated, referring to the comment in a 2007 piece for The Huffington Post, Burleigh wrote, “I said it (back in 1998, but a good quote has eternal life) because I thought it was high time for someone to tweak the white, middle-aged beltway gang taking Clinton to task for sexual harassment. These men had neither the personal experience nor the credentials to know sexual harassment when they saw it, nor to give a good goddamn about it if they did. The insidious use of sexual harassment laws to bring down a president for his pro-female politics was the context in which I spoke.”

Wow. Isn’t that “insidious use of sexual harassment laws to bring down a president” what happened to President Trump during the campaign with a secretly recorded tape of him talking about grabbing women by the pussy? Only he didn’t have an intern blow him in the Oval Office, and jizz her dress and get impeached over it?


As to whether her opinion that every American woman should be donning “Presidential kneepads” tweaked anything in the beltway remains to be seen. At last check, no House or Senate hearings were ever scheduled to investigate her sage advice that 150 million American women, consenting or non-consenting, should be fellating Bill Clinton.

Nina “Dr. Scholl’s” Burleigh is a writer who covers the political beat, of all things, but that  article sounds like some garbage from Seventeen magazine. On the one hand, it’s anti-women and oppressive to wear high heels in 2017, but on the other, she argued that American women should line up to polish Clinton’s knob because they have abortion rights (they were there since 1973 actually) and for her, at least, abortion is something she loves so much she associates it with sexual arousal. But by American women, this includes everyone right?

Maybe she’s happy having her mom and daughter lining up to blow the old president along with her, but it doesn’t seem too appealing. Now, perhaps that was not her intention when she wrote that, maybe there was some hyperbole and she wanted a good quote that had “eternal life.” So it has lived, eternally, but it may come back to haunt her.

The greater point here, however, is that the confirmation bias of this writer is so extreme she has created an entire conspiratorial narrative of Trump women oppressing and dismantling feminism based on the shoes they wear. 

So, eh, Nina, if you have a problem with stiletto heels, take on a shoe company, you quintessentially disingenuous twat, otherwise you just sound kinda… petty. 

BTW, “quintessentially” (25 points!) was added in honor of your Scrabble mastery. You can’t see me now, but I am bowing in front of my monitor out of sheer awe for you.

Wikipedia entry, before it gets edited out!

Related Post