Raising the MoD’s concerns about the USS James E. Williams being in the Black Sea so close to Russia’s border, this report explains, is that it places this rocket killing American warship in the direct flight path of the Soyuz-2.1b rocket scheduled to be launched from the Vostochny Cosmodrome tomorrow—and that President Putin, 3 hours ago, ordered to be protected by over 400 specialized Land Forces troops and their 85 pieces of war machinery—and which includes the feared S-500 “superweapon” whose projectiles travel at hypersonic speeds of five to seven kilometers per second enabling them to intercept opposing hypersonic cruise missiles—and that are, also, able to “swat down incoming Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles and low-orbit satellites in space”.
After Russian president Vladimir Putin noted “I like Senator McCain to a certain extent. And I’m not joking. I like him because of his patriotism, and I can relate to his consistency in fighting for the interests of his own country” an angry John McCain burned an American flag, screamed “death to America” and cried “I do not appreciate that Russian’s duplicity.” Dismissing any suggestion of senility, McCain shuffled through the Senate floor with his pants around his ankles in an Antifa mask. “We need to bomb their children now before they can grow up and be big Putins. He propagates lies and hair gel and makes us look like a bunch of fire hydrants.” […]
Based on the hoax heard ’round the world, i.e., the fake attack on Ashley Todd by an alleged 6’4″ black Obama supporter which was perpetrated by Todd herself. That’s right, go as the Mutilated Crazy McCain Girl with our high quality temporary tattoos! Tattoos guaranteed to affix backwards in a realistic likeness to make it obvious the mutilation was done in front of a mirror, and that you’re a complete moron. […]