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Gratuitous Impiety
McCain Claims Russia Worse Than ISIS, Mumbles Obscenities, Shits Himself
“I know, I helped create ISIS to topple Assad and bring down Iran. I’m tired of people saying I am senile, it is not fair. Do I sound ill to you? Not even my doctor questions my ability to eat my bicycles. You are all a bunch of shoe boxes, you make me want to silverware. Fuckers.” […]

Fake News
In Brief: Putin Praises McCain for Patriotism, McCain Burns US Flag and Screams “Death to America”
After Russian president Vladimir Putin noted “I like Senator McCain to a certain extent. And I’m not joking. I like him because of his patriotism, and I can relate to his consistency in fighting for the interests of his own country” an angry John McCain burned an American flag, screamed “death to America” and cried “I do not appreciate that Russian’s duplicity.” Dismissing any suggestion of senility, McCain shuffled through the Senate floor with his pants around his ankles in an Antifa mask. “We need to bomb their children now before they can grow up and be big Putins. He propagates lies and hair gel and makes us look like a bunch of fire hydrants.” […]
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