Nancy Pelosi Cites Spoof “Trump’s Time Machine” Book in Call for Impeachment

A shocking new Federal Security Service (FSB) report states that the 11 July murder-suicide of former Ministry of Internal Affairs Colonel Anatoly Solomakhin that the Investigative Committee (SLEDCOM) had originally attributed to a “lovers crime” has taken on “critical/significant” importance after a Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) review of this officials emails revealed that he had received from a US Senate staffer of Senator John McCain a photograph showing the Moscow residence of Natalia Veselnitskaya—who is the Russian lawyer presently embroiled in a controversy involving her June 2016 meeting with Donald Trump Jr. […]

As President Donald Trump continues amassing political power and military forces for his planned invasion of the United Mexican States, a new Security Council (SC) circulating in the Kremlin today says that the feared fascist-socialist soon-to-be Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador (known as AMLO and “The Tropical Messiah”) is now threatening to flood America with tens-of-millions of refugees he vows to help aid in traveling there and claims have a “human right” to overrun the US—and whose “wall of humanity” soon to be surging towards the United States southern border will now include millions of peoples from the largest Central American nation of the Republic of Nicaragua that’s fast plunging towards the abyss—and all of which has seen Canada preparing to arm itself with nuclear weapons to protect itself against a United States it’s now labeled as a “failed state” and says must be invaded. […]

“It was this moron,” said Director of National Intelligence Haywood Jablowme as he pointed to a slide of Hillary Clinton at a press conference earlier today. “That is the key state entity most responsible for influencing the election to favor President Trump. Putin didn’t tell her to run while under an FBI criminal investigation, or to call half of America irredeemables, deplorables, racists, sexists… The media narrative is that if only people didn’t know she was so corrupt and inept, she would have won. It’s as asinine as saying that if only people didn’t know the water was poisoned, we would have taken a drink and died, acting as if this was the logical desired outcome. So the impartial watchdogs who warned us of a clear and present danger are to be condemned? Fuck you.” […]