Nancy Pelosi Cites Spoof “Trump’s Time Machine” Book in Call for Impeachment

A stunning Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) report circulating in the Kremlin today states that after yesterday’s meeting between Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, Ambassador Sergey Kislyak and President Donald Trump, a “kill order contract” against America’s new leader appeared on the “dark web” offering a payment of 82,900 Bitcoin’s for Trump’s “murder/killing” by the end of this month—and with Bitcoin’s currently being valued at a little over $1,800, amounts to over $150 million being offered for the assassination of an American president. […]

After a withering attack for eating a burrito without their consent, Donald Trump ordered a giant 6 foot burrito and appointed it Secretary of Go Fuck Yourself CNN. “He’s appropriating a cultural heritage,” cried CNN’s Don Lemon as his panel nodded grimly. “It’s dangerous and likely to exacerbate racial tensions.” Never one to shy away from controversy, PEOTUS Donald Trump immediately got himself a taco bowl, and washed the meal down with a vintage 2016 bottle of Rachel Maddow’s election night tears. […]

The Khazarian mafia is in a state of deep panic as more and more people, including many Jews, wake up to their horrors.  That is why they are playing their trump card by blackmailing U.S. President Donald Trump into sabotaging the restoration of the U.S. Republic and preventing the start of military tribunals, say Pentagon and MI6 sources… Many people, including this writer, hoped Trump would be the liberator of the U.S.  However, Trump’s hiring of radical neocon warmongers like Jeff Bolton and convicted criminals like Elliot Abrams have forced us to realize that Trump is damaged goods. […]