Mika Fashion Line Debuts New “Dual Use” Scarves

Morning Joe co-anchor Mika “I Can Read Headlines All By Myself ” Brzinski has just announced a new line of dual use scarves to supplement her struggling fashion line “Mika.” The latter, which was rejected by major retailers, was described by one reviewer as “a diarrhea of visually dissonant color so loud it is impossible to hear her speak.”

Though free of any design or even color, the disposable dual use “sanitary scarves” proved to be a boon, with a marked 300% increase in sales to three units per month, shattering her yearly Etsy sales record in February alone.

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Methinks I am a conspiracy theorist. Art thou? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment herein?

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