McCain Claims Russia Worse Than ISIS, Mumbles Obscenities, Shits Himself

“I know, I helped create ISIS to topple Assad and bring down Iran. I’m tired of people saying I am senile, it is not fair. Do I sound ill to you? Not even my doctor questions my ability to eat my bicycles. You are all a bunch of shoe boxes, you make me want to silverware. Fuckers.”

Gargling cheek fulls of Lindsey Graham’s neocon semen, Sen. John McCain paused a moment to take in just how idiotic he sounded, shit himself, and then wiped his ass by dragging it across the carpet.

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Methinks I am a conspiracy theorist. Art thou? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment herein?

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