Local Man Dreams of Being Famous Enough to Have Porn Star Brag About Boning Him

Mac Summer, 39, admitted to co-workers today that his greatest dream was to someday be so famous that porn stars will only remember him as the most memorable fuck they ever had. “I don’t care if they say I’m hung like a gnat and cum in two seconds, the very fact they have to boost their ego by saying they boned me would be the ultimate compliment.”

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Methinks I am a conspiracy theorist. Art thou? Thou block, thou stone, thou worse than senseless thing, for whilst thou slept didst this become a badge of honor. Informed dissent shall always prevail, wherefore art thou worthy, or art thou this unwholesome fool in the group conformity experiment herein?