Let’s face it, she’s everywhere, but for only $2,500 you can spend several days in an isolation chamber away from Hillary Clinton during her book tour. An ingenious entrepreneur has created Cankles Away, a new service that guarantees you will avoid any news of, or audience with Hillary Clinton during her “What Happened” Blame Everybody book tour. Part of the fee pays for hotel accommodations, and the removal and jamming of all electronic devices to keep clients blissfully unaware of the cult media following the failed presidential candidate.

“I think she’s a miracle worker, to be honest. I mean, who else could lose given the fact the primaries were rigged for her, the media and Hollywood were 100% behind her except a few shows on FNC? Google modified their search algorithms to only show positive results when you typed in Hillary queries, Facebook took down pro-Trump pages, the establishment GOP was with her, the military industrial complex was with her, Twitter suppressed trending hashtags, there was virtually no way to lose unless you wanted to. But she lost. She worked magic. And she’s annoying as fuck.”