In Brief: Sen. Al Franken Gropes Dim-Witted 75 year old Centurion

News in brief. […]

Says he kisses better, too. […]

In a stunning development today, Native American legend Pocahontas rose from the dead in zombie form to file a lawsuit against President Donald Trump for defamation of character. “He has consistently compared Sen. Elizabeth Warren to me and I find that very hurtful and cruel. ‘Warren Face’ or ‘Ages With Warren’ is now a common taunt I must face among the dimmer circles. Mean little boys don cheap granny glasses and poke their fingers in the air to taunt the skinny girls, saying things like ‘I’m Warren Face Sacajawea’ or something.  I’m not even blonde, none of us are! No one likes to be compared to that yammering spinster and fraud.” […]