IN BRIEF: Chelsea Handler Introduces Tube Sock Line Modeled After Her Breasts

A fascinating Security Council (SC) report circulating in the Kremlin today details a lengthy exchange held during today’s meeting between Members President Putin and Chairwoman of the Council of Federation Valentina Matviyenko wherein “alarms” were expressed relating to recent communications held between Chairwoman Matviyenko and former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (Matviyenko and Clinton are long time comrades) regarding the 2010 “deal” made between Russia and the Obama regime for the release of Masterspy “N”—and who was previously identified as being Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) “deep cover operative” Lidiya Guryev—whose now legendary exploits allowed her to penetrate the most secure regions of the American government to such an extent, a widely popular US television series, titled “The Americans”, was created in her honor.  […]

Within one hour of President Putin ordering Chief of the General Staff Valery Gerasimov to issue a blunt warning to the American “Deep State” that Russia’s strategic nuclear forces are capable of inflicting “unacceptable damage” against any aggressor, including those possessing anti-missile weapons—Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov received an urgent notification communication from US Secretary of State Rex Tillerson advising Moscow that President Trump had authorized the immediate restoration of communication links between the MoD and US military forces in Syria—and that is a critical move due to the “old guard globalist world order” nearing its soon expected death. […]

President Putin has ordered 3,500 servicemen from air defense units to immediately start tactical drills at 30 training ranges in response to the US military having obliterated with airstrikes this past week at least 81 radical Islamic terrorists in Somalia—a national security defensive move said needed because this American action was led by the counterintelligence unit of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) who, for reasons still unknown, have placed under global electronic surveillance US Congresswomen Maxine Waters, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—and about whom the Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) maintains have formed a cabal to infiltrate into the United States terrorists from Somalia to assassinate President Trump—after which Russia will be blamed and attacked. […]